


Prove Me Wrong

by blurryfics



Series: Rose Colored Boy [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Denied Feelings, F/M, Fluff, Mario Kart, Music, Mutual Pining, No Phun Intended, Reader Is In College, References to Depression, References to anxiety, Regional At Best Era, Romance, Romantic Tension, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-06-15 12:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 43,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19615816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryfics/pseuds/blurryfics
Summary: If there was one thing in life that you regretted, it was agreeing to play truth or dare. All it took was one revealing question for your relationship with Tyler to be forever changed. From that point on, Tyler would always know about the feelings you had developed for him when you were fourteen.Years later, your relationship with Tyler - and your feelings - remain unchanged. The more time you spend with him, the more you start to notice little changes in the way he interacts with you. Are Tyler’s feelings finally changing? Or is it all in your head?





	1. Before You Read

Hello, everyone! I just wanted to include a few disclaimers & things to keep in mind before you read Prove Me Wrong. It’s nothing serious, but things I still figure are worth a mention!

  * First and foremost, the timeline is a little bit wonky. What I mean by this is the timeline that the story follows does not match what actually happened! But, this is fiction, so I’m allowed to do that :)
  * The reader in this series uses she/her pronouns.
  * I’ve never been to Ohio, and therefore know nothing about what people do there/what the weather is like/what grocery stores people go to/etc. All of this information is based off of where I live, and it may not be entirely accurate! (But again, this is fiction, so I can do that.)
  * The point of view switches between chapters. This should be pretty obvious because it will either be written in second person (you) or first person (I) depending on who the chapter is focused on. Even chapters will be Tyler’s point of view and odd will be yours/the reader’s, with the exception of the prologue, which is also reader’s point of view.
  * There are recurring themes of anxiety and depression within this series, so please be wary when reading (there will still be individual warnings on the chapters). I know everyone experiences these differently, but like all other fics, they are based on my own experiences with mental health.
  * I’m not sure if this is clearly mentioned anywhere in the series, but this takes place during 2011/the Regional at Best era. This also means the reader & Tyler are about 20/21!



Ok, I think that’s everything! Enjoy Prove Me Wrong :)


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied underage drinking, minor angst
> 
> Word Count: 901
> 
> Author’s Note: Not gonna lie, kinda crazy that I’m posting this right now. I’ve been working on this series since March and have been patiently waiting for the day that I actually get to share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy :)

“Y/N.” Your head flicked up at the sound of your name. “Truth or dare?”

“Um, truth?”

This seemed to be the answer that your friend was looking for.

“Ok, tell us who you like.”

You felt your heart sink straight down through your chest. He was sitting right there, completely unaware of the massive crush that you had on him. You thought about lying, but your friend would know right away. Your mouth was dry as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth.

“I changed my mind. I want a dare.”

Your friend rolled her eyes, “That’s not how this game works.”

“Too bad, I’m changing the rules.”

“Ok, then I dare you to tell us who you like.”

You raised your eyebrows at her. She simply smiled and cocked her head slightly to the side. Your palms were already sweating.

You glanced at Tyler, just for a split second. He didn’t notice, mostly because he was blankly staring at the ground in front of him. Maybe he wouldn’t hear you if you said it quick enough.

“Can’t I have a different question?”

“Come on, Y/N! What’s the big deal about telling us who you like? He’s not here, is he?”

You were seriously reconsidering your friendship right about now.

“Fine,” you said, trying to buy time. “The person I like is, um-”

Another of the boys chimed in, “Just spit it out.”

“Tyler.”

You didn’t want to see his reaction, if he even heard your confession. Your face felt like it was on fire. Across the circle, your so-called friend was laughing with the girl she was sitting next to and whispering things into her ear. It would be nice if you could just disappear straight into the ground right about now.

“Alright, Y/N, your turn to ask someone.”

“Just skip me,” you muttered. “I’m going to go grab a drink.”

You stood up and walked away from the crowd of buzzed teenagers. The kitchen was practically empty which was a welcome change from the rest of the house. There were still a couple beers buried in the bottom of the cooler, so you grabbed one and popped the top off.

Why had she done that? Tyler was your best friend. You told him everything, with the exception of the crush you had on him. There was no way things between you would be the same now that he knew you liked him, and there was no way he returned your feelings. That had been made clear to you many times.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and replaced it with another long sip of beer. Eventually you would have to walk back in the other room, even if for no other reason then to grab your things and leave, but for now you were fine standing in the empty kitchen.

“Hey.”

The voice pulled you back from your thoughts. You turned to face the stranger, already chewing nervously on the inside of your cheek.

“Tyler,” you sighed, “Listen…”

He cut you off, “Hold on, let’s go outside.”

“Ok.”

You followed Tyler back through the living room towards the back door. A few of your friends whistled as Tyler held the door open for you, but you ignored it and kept walking. The night was bad enough without your friends taunting you.

“You want to sit?” Tyler asked, nodding towards a stone ledge on the far side of the yard.

“Yeah.”

You sat down, allowing Tyler to determine how much space should be left between you. He sat close, but not as close as you would have liked. That should have been expected.

“So…” you started. You idly kicked your legs, allowing your heels to bounce against the wall.

“You like me, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

You turned to face Tyler. He was already looking at you, but his expression was difficult to place.

“No. Our friendship was too important to me to risk screwing up.”

He nodded slowly, “I get it.”

Silence filled the space between you. You were too afraid to say anything for fear of making things worse. As for Tyler, well, he wasn’t really the easiest to read.

“I hope you know that I don’t think any differently of you,” he finally said.

“You don’t?”

“No. Feelings are feelings. They happen all the time. Why should I think any differently of you just because you want to get with all this?” he smiled, gesturing to himself.

“Right,” you laughed.

It was hard to tell whether you were more relieved or hurt. Sure, it was nice to know that your friendship with Tyler was still the same as it had always been, but you couldn’t deny the pain in your chest from being assured yet again that he didn’t feel the same.

“Also those guys are jerks for making you admit that in front of everyone.”

You scoffed, “Yeah, they won’t be getting any more of my secrets.”

“That’s what I’m for,” he said, lightly bumping your arm.

“I don’t know, I might need to start keeping everything to myself from now on. Apparently nobody can be trusted.”

“You can always trust me, Y/N.”

“Promise?”

You looked over to him again. He simply smiled and raised a hand up, extending his pinkie as he did so.

“Promise,” he said as he locked his pinkie with yours.


	3. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 1973
> 
> Author’s Note: I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has shown the series support so far! It means the world to me, considering how hard I’ve been working on this series :) Enjoy chapter one!

You grabbed your bag from the passenger seat and pulled it into your lap before flipping down the visor to check your teeth one last time before walking inside. Spending the evening doing homework wasn’t exactly your preferred way of passing time, but at least Tyler had offered for you to come do it at his apartment. It was better than being stuck at home, at least.

You didn’t bother knocking as you reached his door. He had given you a key as soon as he had moved in, claiming that he would probably lose his in a week and need you to come rescue him. It had only taken him two days to lose them.

“Hello!” you called throughout the tiny apartment.

Tyler spun around and pulled his headphones down around his neck. He smiled once he realized that it was just you entering his apartment.

“How was school?” he asked as you collapsed onto the couch.

“Boring. The stuff we went over in psychology was just a repeat of what I learned last term and my history class was,” you paused as you searched for the right word, “mundane.”

“Did you learn that in class today?” he laughed.

Tyler tossed his headphones down on top of his keyboard and joined you on the couch. You had already covered his coffee table in all of your school stuff. He began to grab at papers, flipping through them idly.

“Hey!” you said, snatching them out of his hand. “You’re going to get these all mixed up.”

“Sorry, I was just seeing what I’m missing out on.”

You smiled and shook your head, thinking back to the term that you and Tyler had spent at college together. From the beginning, you could tell that he was out of place in the education scene. His heart had always been with music and when he dropped out to pursue that, you knew it was the right call.

“Lots of exciting stuff,” you said, grabbing the textbook you needed.

Tyler stood up and wandered off towards the kitchen. You watched him walk, idly letting his hands trace along the edge of the counter. Your mouth started to curl into a smile, but you wiped it away and turned back to your textbook. Homework. That was your focus right now.

It only took two sentences before your mind was wandering back to Tyler again. You pulled your lip between your teeth and chewed nervously on it, cursing yourself for allowing yourself to feed into these emotions still. Four years had passed since the truth or dare incident, and yet the crush you had then still resided within you now. At this point, you were pretty sure you would be in love with Tyler forever.

“Dinner?”

“What?” You had only registered that Tyler was talking by the time that he had reached the end of his question.

“I asked if you wanted dinner. I was going to eat earlier, but then you said you were on your way over so I decided to wait.”

You shifted your laptop onto the coffee table and rotated so that you could rest an arm on the back of the couch, figuring that this conversation warranted your full attention.

“Sure, what should we get?”

“Well, we could make something here.”

You made a face.

“Or go to the thai place down the street that we like?”

“Better answer,” you grinned.

“If you call it in, I’ll run down and get it.”

“Deal.”

Tyler wrote down what he wanted on a post-it note and handed it to you. You jotted down your own order - just so that you wouldn’t forget it while on the phone - and dialed the thai place. Honestly, you were surprised that they didn’t recognize your voice alone based on the sheer number of times you and Tyler had ordered from them.

“Fifteen minutes,” you said, tossing your phone down on the couch.

“Fifteen minutes,” Tyler quietly repeated as he messed around on his phone.

He walked back into the living room and collapsed onto the couch, sending most of your papers flying. You shot him a look as you quickly gathered them back up and tucked them into their proper folders where they wouldn’t get messed with by Tyler.

“How’s the music going?” you asked. Next to you, Tyler had grabbed one of your highlighters and was spinning it around his fingers.

“It’s going. The new guy, Josh, he’s been a really big help in writing the music. I think we’re going to be able to get the album out in a week or two.”

“Already? That was fast.”

“We just need something to get attention. If we sit around waiting to make the perfect album, we’ll never put anything out.”

You reached over and grabbed the highlighter that he was twirling, “That makes sense, but you should still be proud of what you create.”

“I am, don’t worry.”

You finished typing up a few notes before turning to Tyler.

“So this guy, Josh, he’s cool?”

“Really cool,” Tyler nodded. “We’ve only been working together for a couple months, but it feels like I’ve known him for a lifetime.”

“He’s not replacing me, is he?” you laughed, hoping it would hide the nervousness in your voice.

“No. I don’t think anyone could ever replace you, Y/N.”

Tyler reached over and gave you an affectionate punch in the shoulder. You retaliated by tossing a highlighter at him, but he simply caught it and proceeded to twirl it around his fingers again.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

You hated that there were butterflies in your stomach from such a simple statement. All Tyler had said was that Josh wouldn’t be taking your place, it’s not like he had just confessed his love to you. There was no reason for you to be getting so worked up over something so simple.

“Are you doing psychology homework?”

“History.”

“What are you reading about?”

“Well, I would be reading about Ancient Greece if I didn’t keep getting interrupted,” you answered. Tyler pursed his lips, but they were still curved up into a smile.

“Hey, in my defense, you accepted my offer to come do homework over here.”

“I wasn’t anticipating being so distracted.”

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“How long have you known me?”

“Seven years.”

“Exactly, so what made you think that I wasn’t going to distract you?”

“Hope,” you laughed.

Tyler shook his head and set your highlighter down among the rest of your study materials.

“I need to go pick up the food.”

“Have fun,” you called after him.

“No promises.”

He shut the front door behind him, leaving you in his silent apartment. Normally you would have offered to go with him to avoid this very situation, but since it was the first moment of peace you had since arriving, you took it as a blessing rather than a curse. The more homework you got done now, the more uninterrupted time you could spend together later.

“I’m back!” Tyler announced, holding up a white plastic bag in one hand.

“How was your trip?”

He muttered something unintelligible under his breath as he pulled your orders out of the bag. While he did that, you stacked your things up into a neat pile so that the two of you would actually have room to eat. Tyler’s apartment was too small for a proper dining room table, so the couch had to take its place.

“Want to hear about my trip?” Tyler groaned as he sat down on the couch. He passed your food and a fork to you.

“Indulge me.”

“So I get to the thai place, no problem. There was like one lady in line in front of me, which is fine, but then she spent an entire five minutes ordering. Five minutes! When I finally got up to the counter, I was like ‘Pickup order for Joseph’, paid, and was out of there in two minutes flat. It was all so unnecessary,” he mumbled as he stirred up his noodles.

“But you’re back now!” you smiled as you did the same.

“Now we get to enjoy delicious food and good company.”

“Exactly.”

You watched as Tyler struggled to get his noodles to stay on his fork. He tried three times before finally getting fed up and sticking something else with his fork. His cheeks turned a light shade of pink as soon as he noticed you watching the whole ordeal.

“They were slippery,” he muttered.

“I noticed.”

“Oh hey! I had a question for you.”

Your heart started to beat a little faster as your mind filled with millions of possibilities. It was one of the reasons that you hated open-ended questions, there was too much room to worry.

“What?”

“Your brother is still living at home, right?”

Your heart rate seemed to slow back down to normal in an instant.

“Yeah, but he’s looking for a place. Why do you ask?”

“Josh and I are planning to play some shows in the next couple months, and it would be great if he could help us with loading and setting up at a couple of them. I’d give him free tickets for the show, since I know he’s into music.”

“Why can’t I help?” you asked.

“Do you want to?”

“Well, maybe not, but I’m capable!”

“Y/N, I remember high school gym class. You’re not fooling me.”

“Hey! Not all of us were basketball stars like you.”

“Most three-point shots during a single season in the school’s history,” he grinned.

“Yeah, and you won’t let me forget it.”

Tyler smiled and took another bite of his food. You took a moment to admire the dorky grin on his face before pulling your gaze away, afraid to stare too long. Even though Tyler knew about your feelings for him, you tried not to make it blatantly obvious. Part of you was still afraid that one day he would decide it was too much and end your friendship.

“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”

You needed a lie. Fast.

“All the work I have to do. It seems never ending,” you said, making a face for extra emphasis.

Tyler nodded towards your pile of schoolwork, “Looks like it.”

“And that’s not even all my stuff.”

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“I could say the same thing about you and music.”

Tyler opened his mouth to say something, but stopped and pressed his lips together. His eyebrows furrowed for a moment before they relaxed again and he let out a sigh.

“You have a point.”

“Shocking, I know.”

The two of you made a bit more conversation as you finished up your dinner. As soon as you were done, you got back to work on your homework. If you wanted to stay on top of your work, you couldn’t let Tyler distract you from getting anything done. Of course, he wasn’t going to make that easy.

“Don’t you have something better to do than messing with my stuff?” you laughed as he began to juggle your highlighters.

“I’m a musician.”

“So?”

“No, I don’t have something better to do,” he laughed.

You grabbed the highlighter that you needed from midair and used it on the passage that you had just read. Tyler decided that he had had enough of his game and got up from the couch, leaving your school supplies in his wake. He wandered around the living room for a moment before settling down at his piano.

“Do you mind if I play?”

“Not at all.”

“I might sing too.”

“That’s fine, Ty.”

“Ok,” he said, giving you that all-too-familiar goofy smile.

You bit down on your lip to hide the smile that was beginning to form. This boy was going to be the death of you.


	4. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Bad driving, minor angst, profanity
> 
> Word Count: 1841
> 
> Author’s Note: The first chapter from Tyler’s POV! I’m not really sure why I dedicated an entire chapter to them grocery shopping together, but I hope you enjoy it, nonetheless :)

I laid into the horn for a third time, hoping that Y/N would hear it. She had said she would go grocery shopping with me today, but all three of my texts announcing that I was outside had gone unanswered. Now, creating as much noise as possible was my last resort to get her attention.

“Hey!”

My eyes shot to the porch. Y/N’s brother, Carter, was leaning out the front door. I immediately pulled my hand off of the horn and rolled down the window.

“What the hell are you doing?” he yelled.

“Trying to get Y/N’s attention!”

“You know, we have this really cool thing called a doorbell right here,” he said, gesturing to it. “Works great!”

“Sorry!”

Carter waved a hand at me, “I’ll go get Y/N.”

The front door shut and I leaned back into my seat. Leave it to me to make an embarrassment out of myself in front of Y/N’s family.

I was starting to get impatient when the front door flew open again, revealing Y/N with only one of her shoes on. She slipped on the other one and came running down the path towards my car, looking frantic.

“I’m so sorry,” she said as she slid into the front seat. “I was up late last night working on a paper, and then I fell asleep today right before you were supposed to show up and - oh, you texted me.”

“Three times.”

“Oh man, I’m really sorry, Ty,” she said, pressing a hand to her forehead.

“It’s fine. As long as you didn’t totally bail on me.”

Y/N turned to me and smiled. Despite the fact that she had just woken up from a nap, she still looked absolutely gorgeous.

Stop, Tyler.

“I got to have a nice chat with your brother about not making so much noise,” I laughed.

“So I heard. He was talking about it as I was running around my room trying to get ready.”

“Ready to go?”

She took a moment to look around the area she was sitting in, “Yeah, I think I have everything.”

“Great.”

I pulled away from the curb and headed towards the grocery store. Y/N was quick to kick her feet up on the dash.

“Thanks for coming with me,” I said, idly tapping my fingers against the wheel. “I don’t know that I would know what to buy if it weren’t for you.”

She laughed, “You know you’ll have to learn how to shop for yourself eventually, right?”

“Not as long as you’re around.”

“I may not be around forever, Ty.”

I turned to look at Y/N. She was looking out the window, watching the trees that were whizzing past as we drove down the quiet street. It was hard to imagine a life without Y/N. She meant too much to me for me to ever let her go.

I thought back to the night that her feelings for me had been revealed during a stupid game of truth or dare. She had been so scared that I wouldn’t think of her the same, but it had never felt that way. Y/N was still Y/N, no matter what her feelings towards me were. I had never understood what made it such a big deal.

“Ty!”

My reflexes kicked in just in time for me to swerve away from a trash bin sitting on the side of the road. Y/N had a hand splayed out on the dash as she turned to me with wide eyes.

“What was that all about?” she laughed.

“I was thinking,” I smiled innocently, hoping she wouldn’t press the matter any further.

“Well, think less next time.”

“Yeah, then I might finally understand what it’s like to be you.”

“Hey!”

She reached over and lightly punched me in the arm. I laughed and tried to duck out of the way, but the confines of the car didn’t really allow for that.

“You’re mean, Joseph.”

“You love me.”

“Maybe I do.”

* * *

“Now where are we going?” I asked, leaning my body into the grocery cart to get it to start moving.

“We still need to get you fruits and veggies.”

“I don’t eat those.”

“You’re going to now.”

I groaned, but knew better than to argue with her over this. She was just making sure that I was taking care of myself, that was nothing new.

“What do you think? Apples?” she asked, holding up a particularly shiny one.

“Sure.”

She shot me a look, “Have some enthusiasm, Ty.”

“Then show me some exciting fruit!”

Y/N tossed a couple apples into a bag and added them to the cart with the rest of my groceries before moving on to another type of fruit.

“How did you learn all this stuff?” I asked as she looked over some oranges. “I don’t even know where to start with groceries, aside from snacks.”

“My mom used to drag me and my brother to the grocery store with her when we were little,” she smiled. “I guess I memorized her shopping list from seeing it so many times.”

“So what you’re saying is that I should be paying attention to what you’re choosing?”

“Tyler!” she laughed, turning to face me. “Are you not paying attention?”

“I’m just pushing the cart.”

She pursed her lips for a moment before bagging the food in her hand and adding it to the cart as well. The disgruntled expression on her face made me smile and for a moment I couldn’t get myself to look away from her. Everything about her was just so…

No.

Y/N started to walk farther down the aisle, so I followed after her. She stopped in front of the salad section and began to look over the options.

“Now that looks like a level of cooking that I could handle,” I said, hoping it would get another smile out of her.

It did.

“Why don’t you pick a kind that looks good? I don’t need to pick all of your food for you. You’re the one that’s going to be eating it.”

I moved around the cart so that I could better see my options. Y/N grabbed a bag for herself and put it into the little basket that she had grabbed for her own groceries. She didn’t have nearly as many things to buy, mostly because she was still living at home so her parents handled most of the shopping.

“What about this kind?” I asked, reaching for a bag.

“Ty, it doesn’t matter what I think.”

I glanced at her for a moment. She was too busy looking at more salad to notice.

“But for the record, that kind is really good,” she added.

“Ok, I’ll give it a try.”

I added it to the ever-growing pile of groceries in the cart. If I was lucky, I could convince Y/N to come over and help me put away all the groceries.

“You know, I really do worry about what you’ll do if we’re ever apart,” Y/N said.

“I’ll just call you wherever you’re at for help.”

She turned to me, “I can never escape, can I?”

“Nope.”

“I think there’s only a few more things that we need to pick up and then we can get out of here.”

“Lead the way.”

I followed Y/N through the produce section as she picked up a few more things that she said would be good for me to eat. Occasionally she would try to explain how to pick out good fruit, but I knew it was no use. All the information would be gone again by the time I had to grocery stop for myself.

“I don’t even know what to do with half of this stuff,” I said as we loaded bags into the back of my car.

“You know, there’s these great things called cookbooks and the Internet that you can use to find recipes. They even tell you what to do to make the food.” Y/N shot me a smug smile from the other side of the car.

“You and your brother are the same person, I swear.”

I loaded the last bag into the backseat and then shut the car door. Y/N did the same and hopped into the passenger seat of my car while I returned the cart to where it belonged. She had already started playing her music by the time that I hopped in the driver’s seat.

“I’m way cooler than Carter, just so that’s clear,” she said before I had even buckled my seatbelt.

“I never said one of you was cooler than the other, I just said that you two are the same person.”

“That would imply that his level of coolness is the same as mine, and there’s no way that I’m as dorky as him!”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry! You’re way cooler than Carter,” I laughed, throwing my hands up in defeat. Y/N seemed pleased by my response.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, are you coming over? Or should I drop you off at home?”

“I can come over for a little bit, as long as I’m home for dinner. I still have more homework to catch up on.”

“Do you ever get a break?”

She leaned back and kicked her feet up on the dash, as she always seemed to do. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

I put one hand on the back of her seat so that I would actually be able to see out the back window while I pulled out of the parking spot. My mom would never let me hear the end of it if I scratched up my car again.

“Then consider hanging out with me your break,” I smiled.

“I can’t think of a better way to spend my time.”

I pulled up against the curb outside of Y/N’s house. She gathered up her things before stepping out onto the pavement and leaning down into the car.

“Thanks for letting me come over for awhile, Ty. It was a much needed study break.”

“It was the least I could do after basically making you grocery shop for me. Thanks again, by the way.”

She adjusted her bag on her shoulder, “It was fun.”

“Agreed. Good luck with studying.”

“I’ll need it.”

Y/N shut the car door and waved to me through the window. I watched as she walked back up the path to her house and jumped up the steps that led to the porch. Once she was finally inside the house safely, I pulled away and headed home.

The quiet of the car allowed my mind to wander. I thought about Y/N, mostly. 

A bird dived at my car, making me almost swerve into a trash bin for the second time that day. Apparently daydreaming and driving wasn’t a good mix for me. I reached over and turned the radio up, hoping that it would give my mind something else to focus on. 


	5. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Profanity, awkward situations, little bit of angst, brief mention of past physical aggression
> 
> Word Count: 1896
> 
> Author’s Note: I don’t really have that much to say today, other than thank you to everyone who has been reading the series so far! It makes me so happy to see all of you enjoying the story so far :) I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

“Hey, Ty.”

He pulled his headphones down around his neck and turned to face you. You were currently sprawled out on the couch with your laptop on your stomach as you worked on homework.

“Yeah?”

“What was the name of that Greek god? You know, the big one.”

“Zeus?” he laughed.

“That’s it!” you exclaimed, throwing a hand to your forehead. “I totally blanked.”

“Isn’t your history textbook right there?”

“Yeah, but it’s out of arm’s reach.” You waved your arm in its general direction for added effect.

“You confuse me, Y/N,” he said before pulling his headphones back on.

You made a face at the back of his head before writing down the answer he had given you. It would have to be double-checked later for accuracy, but for now you just wanted to get this assignment over with.

The apartment was quiet, save for the typing of your keys and the quiet click of Tyler’s keyboard. He was singing quietly to himself, although you were pretty sure that he was completely unaware of that fact. It was just loud enough for you to hear, but just quiet enough to seem unintentional.

“What song is that, Ty?”

He pulled his headphones down and turned to you with furrowed eyebrows. “What?”

“That song you’re playing,” you said, nodding towards the keyboard. “What is it?”

His cheeks flushed with a little color, “You could hear me singing, couldn’t you?”

“Yes,” you grinned. Then, in a moment of bravery you added, “It was cute.”

“It’s a new song,” he said, breaking your eye contact and turning back to the piano. Your stomach filled with an uncomfortable, sinking feeling. You shouldn’t have said anything. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Yes,” you answered instantly, happy for the distraction.

“It doesn’t really have a name yet,” he said as he pulled out the headphones.

“I’m sure something will come to you.”

“Yeah.”

His fingers found their place on the keys and he began to play. You slowly closed your laptop and set it on the coffee table, all the while your eyes never left Tyler. There was something different about him when he played music. Something that you could never quite put your finger on.

His voice was gentle as he sang to you. You admired the way that he seemed so sure of the keys that he was playing. If you had the opportunity, you would just sit on the couch and listen to him play for hours and hours. Tyler’s voice was something you would never get tired of.

He finished the song and dropped his hands to his lap. You waited for him to turn to you so that he could see your reaction, but his focus remained on his piano.

“That was really good, Ty.”

“Thanks.”

Tyler got up and sat down on the other end of the couch near your feet. He was still avoiding eye contact with you.

“Should I just go?” you asked.

“No, sorry. I’m just in my head right now.”

“Do you need me to do anything?”

“No, I just - I’m going to grab a drink.”

“Ok.”

While Tyler grabbed himself something to drink from the kitchen, you grabbed your laptop and pulled it into your lap. There was still over half of your assignment that needed to be done and it would only be so long before Tyler was back to his normal self and distracting you in every way he could think of.

* * *

After a couple more hours of studying, you had finally finished your homework for the night. Thankfully, Tyler had also come out of whatever slump had been bothering him earlier that day and now the two of you were reliving crazy stories from high school. You had become friends shortly after you started your freshman year, meaning that most of your crazy adventures had happened together.

“Hey, remember Peter Jones?” Tyler grinned.

“No!” you gasped. “Please, don’t make me relive that.”

“And how he asked you out…”

“Stop!” you giggled. “I didn’t know how else to handle someone liking me.”

“Y/N, you slapped him.”

“I apologized right after! I felt awful.”

“The poor guy was probably already nervous enough and you just slapped him straight across the face instead of politely declining.”

“I admit, it was not my proudest moment.”

You grabbed your drink from the coffee table and took a long sip of it. Tyler always kept stuff that you liked in his fridge since you were over so often.

“You’re lucky you didn’t get detention.”

“I think he was too embarrassed about getting hit by a girl to actually tell anyone that would get me in trouble.”

“Dumb.” Tyler shook his head as he finished off his Red Bull.

“Ok, but what about that girl that was obsessed with you junior year?”

“Sadie? Yeah, that wasn’t fun.”

“She came to every basketball practice and tried to talk to you afterwards, right?”

“Yes! One time she even followed me out to my car.”

“Wait, really? You never told me that!”

“She did. I’m pretty sure she would have gotten in the car if I didn’t keep the door locked.”

“We really didn’t have any luck with high school relationships, did we?” you laughed.

“No, not really.”

You ran your finger around the rim of your mug as you debated if you wanted to vocalize the thoughts that were in your mind. Tyler took notice of this.

“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on,” Tyler said, giving you a light tap with his foot. “Your mind isn’t just elevator music right now.”

“Maybe it is!”

“I know it’s not. That’s not your ‘my-mind-is-elevator-music’ face.”

“Well, um, do you ever think about the truth or dare game?”

“Are we really having this conversation again?”

“You asked!”

“What about the truth or dare game?”

“Like, what I said. About my feelings.”

“I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, Y/N: I don’t care that you have feelings for me. It doesn’t make me think any more of you and it doesn’t make me think any less of you. It’s just… one added aspect to our friendship.”

You should have expected that response from him. It was the same thing that he defaulted to every time that you brought up the truth or dare game and it annoyed you every time. The problem wasn’t that he didn’t have feelings for you - that part was fine - the problem was that you had a hard time believing him. His actions never seemed to match his words.

“I should have seen that one coming,” you said. A petty excuse for a laugh escaped your lips.

“It’s the same thing I tell you every time.”

“Sorry I brought it up.”

“It’s fine. I asked.”

You hated that you couldn’t seem to get over Tyler, no matter how hard you tried. It didn’t help that you two were together almost every day, aside from when you had to go to classes. Being around Tyler always seemed to bring up new reasons for you to fall even more in love with him as you got older.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I-”

“No, Tyler, it’s fine. Just forget I brought it up.”

“Ok.”

You tapped your fingers along your leg while you tried to think of a better conversation topic, although you couldn’t help but feel like you had ruined the nice night you had been having. Of course you had to go and bring up your feelings again, as if Tyler had somehow changed his mind about you.

“What are your plans after class tomorrow?” he asked.

“I’ll probably hang out with my brother. Or come over here, if you want to see me again.”

“You’re always free to come over. I like spending time with you.”

There he went again, making things confusing.

“I like spending time with you, too.” You tried your best to muster up some form of a smile.

Tyler didn’t really say anything after that. You had no idea what to say either, and the silence was beginning to press in on you. All you could think about was that stupid truth or dare game.

You sat up and began to gather up all of your things. There was no point in staying at Tyler’s apartment now that you had made things awkward between the two of you. The quiet and forced conversation was going to drive you crazy.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” you answered plainly.

“You don’t want to stay longer?”

“I do, but this…” you waved a hand between the two of you. “I made it awkward.”

“It’s not awkward.” He said it so confidently that you almost believed him. “I just - I don’t know - feel bad, I guess.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “Why do you feel bad?”

“I just wish I felt the same.”

“Right.” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Listen, I’m just gonna go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You finished packing up your things and pulled your bag onto your shoulder. Tyler didn’t say anything else until you had pulled the front door open.

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Later, Ty.”

As soon as the door shut behind you, tears began to pool in your eyes. Something had to be done about your feelings for him, since he obviously wouldn’t ever feel the same.

You blasted music the entire way home to keep yourself from thinking back to all the dumb things you had said. Why couldn’t you just let the entire situation go? It wasn’t new information that Tyler wasn’t in to you, and yet you kept bringing it up in hopes that it had changed. All you were doing was making things harder on yourself.

Carter was in the den playing video games when you arrived home, so you collapsed down next to him on the couch and grabbed a controller.

“Sure, you can join the game,” he said sarcastically.

“Shut up, Car. I had a bad night.”

“Tyler?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ok.”

Carter finished up the round he was playing before switching to multiplayer. Throwing insults at him and trying not to lose ended up being the perfect way to take your mind off of things.

“Ok, I’m going to call it a night,” you said, shutting off your controller and tossing it down onto the couch.

“Alright, goodnight.”

“Thanks for playing video games with me, Car. It was the distraction I needed.”

“You know you can talk to me if you need to.”

“I know. Now get some sleep, you still have work in the morning.”

“Shit,” he muttered. “I’m coming.”

You walked out of the room while he finished shutting off the console. Apparently the video game had distracted you from how tired you really were, because you were having troubles keeping your eyes open as you brushed your teeth.

Your phone buzzed as you collapsed into bed. It was a text from Tyler.

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Goodnight _

You sighed and typed out an answer.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Goodnight _

Things were going to be ok. If you really worked on it, you would be able to move on from Tyler and finally find someone that felt the same way about you. That way your friendship with Tyler could be just that: a friendship.

You fell asleep thinking about Tyler.


	6. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self-doubt
> 
> Word Count: 1847
> 
> Author’s Note: I have nothing interesting to say yet again, so enjoy the chapter!

“No, that’s bad.”

I ripped the page out of my notebook and crumpled it up in my hand before adding it to the growing pile of paper at the side of my keyboard. My entire morning had been spent trying countless melodies and lyrics and I still had nothing good to show for it.

“It’s all bad,” I mumbled. “I can’t create anything good.”

I leaned forward and buried my face in my hands. There had to be something in decent in my head, buried under all the terrible ideas. 

“Come on.”

I moved my hands to the back my head and twirled my fingers in my hair. There had to be something. Anything.

Nope. Nothing.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Y/N, hoping that she would pick up. She would be able to stop me from this downward spiral. Y/N was good at that.

“Hello?”

“Hi. What are you doing right now?”

“I’m with Carter. What’s going on?”

“I was just wondering if you could come over. I’ve been trying to write all morning but I’m stuck and I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Yeah, I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

“Thanks.”

“Take care of yourself, Ty.”

I hung up the call and set my phone down on my keyboard. Now all I had to do was keep myself busy until Y/N showed up. She didn’t live far, but I had called on short notice so she would have to get all her things together, which wasn’t exactly one of her strong suits. Y/N always liked to be over-prepared for everything.

I cleaned up the pile of papers and tossed them into the recycling bin, just so there wouldn’t be a mess when she showed up. There were a couple other things lying around - mostly wrappers and a plate that I had been too lazy to get up and put away the night before - so I decided to clean those up too. Y/N had seen the apartment in worse states, but it was always nice to make a little effort for her.

Y/N showed up about ten minutes after I had called her. Cleaning had helped me a little, but self-doubt was still swirling around my mind. I was thankful that she was willing to come over and help me.

“Hey, Ty,” she smiled as I opened the door.

“Hey.”

She stepped inside and set her stuff by the door, wasting no time in kicking her shoes off next to it. I shuffled back towards the couch and got settled on one end of it, leaving plenty of room for Y/N to sit next to me.

“Do you mind if I grab something to drink?” she asked. “I jogged up the stairs.”

“Help yourself.”

Y/N rummaged around in the fridge for a moment before taking a seat on the couch with two drinks in her hands. She handed one of them to me.

“I’m not thirsty.”

“Come on, Ty. It will make you feel a little better.”

She wasn’t wrong. With a shrug, I grabbed the can from her and popped the top open before taking a long drink. I had to admit, even that small gesture had already lifted my spirits a bit.

“So what’s going on with you?” she asked as she popped open her own drink.

“It’s all this songwriting stuff. I’ve been trying all morning to just get something down but I end up hating everything.”

“You just finished an album, you know. It’s ok to take a break.”

I slowly shook my head, “There’s always the next album.”

“Do you have any of the stuff that you wrote today?”

“I tossed all of it.”

“What, in the recycling?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N set her drink down and walked into the kitchen. When she returned, she was holding the crumpled pages in the bottom of her shirt like a little basket.

“There were too many for my hands,” she laughed, letting them all fall onto the couch.

She took a seat behind all the crumpled pages. I didn’t even want to look at them, but Y/N slowly began to smooth them out so they were sitting in a neat stack. Once they were all laid out, she began to flip through them. Her lips moved a little as she read over the words.

She looked up at me, “Why do you hate these? These are really good, Tyler.”

“They’re not.”

“They are! This line right here, ‘The sun will rise and we will try again’, that’s really good! That resonates with people.”

“You don’t think it’s dumb?”

“No. Do you know how many people need to hear that?”

“Too bad not that many people will.”

She set the pages down on the coffee table and scooted closer to me.

“The only way that people aren’t going to hear your lyrics is if you keep tossing them in the recycling bin instead of using something. Haven’t you said yourself that you need to push through the droughts?”

“Hey, don’t use my words against me,” I smiled, finally looking up to meet her eyes.

“Sometimes you have to follow your own advice.”

“I hate when you’re right.”

She reached out and patted my shoulder, “You’ll get over it.”

Y/N had a point, even if I didn’t want her to. Sometimes I didn’t know what I would do without her, besides just not knowing what to buy at the grocery store. She had been my support system since day one. It was like she always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better, no matter what had me in my head.

“So are you going to keep these? Because if you don’t, then I will.”

I reached a hand out and Y/N passed the pages to me. Upon second glance, some of the stuff that I had come up with did seem usable.

“I think I’ll keep them. Thanks for digging these out of the recycling for me.”

“It was the least I could do, although you may want to take that out soon, Ty. It’s beginning to overflow,” she giggled.

I folded up the pages and stuck them in my music folder with all the other half-finished songs. Who knows, maybe they would come in handy someday.

“Alright, now let’s do something to give your brain a break. What do you think we should do?”

“Um, go on a walk?” I suggested.

“Perfect. Let’s go.”

Y/N wasted no time in getting off the couch and pulling her shoes on. I, on the other hand, took a little longer to find my beat-up Vans and pull them on. She was waiting by the door when I finally emerged from my room.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

I grabbed my keys from beside the door and together the two of us headed down the stairs and out onto the street. There was a park not too far from where I lived, so we headed that way.

“How’s school going?” I asked, hoping to keep the conversation off of me for awhile.

“Fine,” she shrugged. “The term is ending soon which means there’s a lot of studying to do and then I get a whole new batch of classes.”

“Are you excited?”

“I mean, as excited as you can be for school.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

Y/N pulled the sleeves on her sweatshirt down over her hands. It was a bit cold today, as it often was in mid-March, but the sun was still shining.

“Um, so about earlier-” I started.

“Hey, we’re not talking about that right now, remember?”

“It’s not about the music. I promise.”

“Ok.”

“I just wanted to say thank you for being so willing to come over and spend time with me, especially since you were with your brother. It means a lot to me.”

Y/N walked a little closer to me so that she could gently bump her shoulder with mine, “I’m always going to be here for you, Ty. You know I would do anything.”

“Yeah, well, I’m still going to thank you for it every time. Not a lot of people would do that kind of thing for their friends.”

Friends. Why had I chosen that word?

“Right,” she smiled, stepping away from me again. “I know you would do the same for me, should the situation arise.”

“Of course.”

Y/N nodded and idly kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. Her shoe scuffed against the pavement.

“What are your plans for the next week?” I asked.

She laughed. It sounded nice.

“You mean besides studying? Probably spending time with Carter. Spending time with you. Oh, and I have a lunch with my grandparents on Saturday. Other than that, just try not to completely break down before finals week.”

“If you ever need a study break, you know who to call,” I said, hoping it would cheer her up.

“I’m sure you’ll be getting a call every night.”

“I don’t mind.”

Y/N turned to me and raised an eyebrow. I simply smiled at her before turning to look at the pavement.

* * *

We ended up walking through the park for close to an hour, enjoying the bits of sunshine and just talking about things that had been on our minds lately. Y/N talked about school and she finally let me talk about music a little more. It was a nice opportunity to get some things off my chest that I had been bottling up for awhile.

“I should probably get going,” Y/N announced as we reached my building. “My mom is working late again tonight and there’s no way Carter is going to be able to make himself dinner.”

“Sounds like an exciting night for you,” I smiled.

“Oh yeah, I love taking care of my older brother. You would think that by 22 he would have a better idea of how to do basic tasks.”

“Who knows? At the rate I’m going, I’ll be the same way.”

Y/N sighed, “Not if I can help it.”

“Ok, well, drive safe.”

I held my arms out and Y/N happily accepted my hug. She held onto me tightly, swaying me ever so slightly as she did so.

“Take care of yourself, Ty. And call me if something else comes up.”

“I will, I promise.”

She pulled away from the hug, gave me one final smile, and started to walk off to where she had parked her car. I waited until she had rounded the corner before I walked into the building and headed up to my apartment.

It was hard to believe that I had gotten lucky enough to have someone like Y/N in my life. Ever since we had first met when we were freshmen, we had basically been inseparable. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if we were dating. Her feelings for me were already there, the only issue was that I didn’t feel the same about her.

Well... m aybe that wasn’t entirely accurate.


	7. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Profanity, minor sibling disagreement
> 
> Word Count: 1924
> 
> Author’s Note: Hey! I’m going to be at the beach today and I hate answering comments/asks on mobile, so if it takes me longer than usual to answer your comments, that’s why! Anyway, in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

You were going to do it. Finally. It was something you should have done a long time ago.

You were going to talk to a boy. One that wasn’t Tyler, to be exact. And it was going to be fine. Better than fine, even. It might actually be fun.

There were a couple empty seats towards the front of the lecture hall, so you dropped your stuff onto one of the tables and called it good. You were close enough to see the slides without being so close that you felt like the entire class could see your laptop screen.

A boy sat down next to you a few minutes before class started. His light hair was sticking out from beneath his black beanie and his cheeks had turned a light shade of pink from the cold outside. The glasses he was wearing had slipped down his nose, but he was quick to fix them once he had sorted out all his stuff. He was cute, you had to admit.

But he wasn’t Tyler.

“Um, hi,” you said, hoping your voice was loud enough to catch his attention.

“Hi.” His eyebrows furrowed for a moment, but relaxed again.

You completely blanked on something to say. If you were being honest, you hadn’t really expected yourself to get this far.

“I know it’s late in the term, but I figured I would introduce myself,” you smiled. “I’m Y/N.”

“Charlie,” he said, returning your smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

“So, what’s your major?”

“Psychology. What about you?”

“History.”

“That’s really cool.”

“Most of the time,” he smiled. He had a nice smile. “Other times, you end up learning about ancient laws for a week straight.”

“Oh yeah, that doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.”

“Not at all. But psychology, that seems cool!”

He grabbed his laptop from his bag and set it on the table that you two were sharing. It was covered in tons of stickers, some of which were for bands that you also happened to like. Your plan was already turning out a lot better than you had expected it to.

“Your stickers are awesome!” you grinned. “Where did you get them?”

“My sister actually works for a print shop downtown, so she brings them to me every now and again. I could probably snag you a couple, if you wanted them?”

“Definitely.”

Charlie was about to say something else when the professor grabbed everyone’s attention. He made a face at you before opening up a document to take notes on, prompting you to do the same.

Yeah, this had been a good idea.

* * *

“Car! I’m home!” you called.

“I’m in the den!”

You kicked your shoes off by the door and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Sure enough, Carter was sitting on the couch playing video games yet again.

“Do you ever move?” you laughed as you joined him.

“Only when I have to go to work or someone made food.”

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.”

You dug your laptop out of your bag and grabbed your psychology textbook. As tempting as playing video games with Carter was, you knew there were more pressing things that needed to be attended to.

“How was school?” he asked.

“Fine. I talked to a cute boy in my history class today.”

“Oh, did Tyler enroll in school again?”

“Hey!” you said, lobbing a pencil at him. “Shut up.”

“Sorry. So you talked to this new guy?”

“Yeah, and he seemed really cool. His laptop was covered in stickers.”

“Oh wow! Stickers!” Carter said sarcastically.

“And he gave me his number.”

“You should have led with that. A number is way more exciting than stickers.”

“I guess.”

“Alright, what’s the catch?”

“What do you mean?”

Carter paused his game so that he could shoot you a look, “Come on, Y/N. You haven’t spent the last ten minutes absolutely swooning over him which means that something is stopping you from falling head over heels for this dude. Does he talk too much? Are his pants too short? Hit me with it.”

Sometimes you hated that he knew you so well. Still, you decided to lie.

“There’s no catch. I just barely know him.”

“There is too a catch.”

“Is not.”

“Is too!”

“Is  _ not _ !”

“Y/N, you’re a terrible liar.”

“Fine. Maybe there is.”

Carter sighed, “Just tell me.”

“Well, I mean, he’s not-”

“Tyler,” you finished in unison.

“Yeah,” you muttered.

“Are you really still on that, Y/N?”

“Man, if only I had a dollar for every time I heard that.”

“It’s a serious question.”

“Yes, I’m still ‘on that’,” you said, doing air quotes.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why, Car? It’s not like I can help it.”

“Y/N, you’ve liked him for - what - five years now? Surely something could have been done to help lessen those feelings a bit.”

You chewed on the edge of your lip. Carter was usually super understanding and helpful, but apparently today he just felt like being an asshole. In that case, you decided to deal him a taste of his own medicine.

“Is that why you’re still moping over Marenna breaking up with you six months ago?” you muttered.

“Hey! That’s different. Marenna and I dated for five and a half years. You know, as in actually dating?”

“But it’s been six months, Car,” you mocked his tone. “Don’t you think something could have been done to help lessen those feelings a bit?”

“God, Y/N, we’re not talking about that right now!”

“Are you actually going to listen to what I have to say, then?”

“Yes, fine,” Carter said, but he had gone back to playing his video games already.

“It’s just,” you paused as you tried to think of what you actually wanted to say. “Tyler is one of a kind, you know? Nobody has ever quite understood me the way that he does.”

“Have you ever even given someone else a chance to understand you like he does?”

“Well-”

“Because I would argue that I understand you almost as well as Tyler does.”

“Yeah, but you’re my brother. That doesn’t really count.”

“Sure it does. Plenty of my friends don’t know shit about their siblings.”

“I guess you’re just special, bud,” you said, lightly poking Carter with your foot.

“Get your gross sock away from me,” he laughed, giving your leg a light shove. “The point that I’m trying to make here is that other people can learn to understand you, you just have to give them a chance.”

“I’m going to try. Trust me, I’m just as tired of dealing with these feelings for Tyler as you are with hearing about them.”

“Are you going to actually make an effort with this Charlie guy?”

“Maybe.”

Carter turned to look at you, “I think you should.”

“And I think you should try to win Marenna over again.”

“I’m trying, Y/N. I really am.”

“Why did you break up again?”

“It was dumb,” he sighed. “I just bottled up a lot of my feelings again and then it all came out during a stupid argument. I should have just talked to her when the issue first popped up.”

“Yeah, you’re not very good about that.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

“Anytime, bud.”

Carter shook his head and immediately let out a string of curses as someone killed him yet again. You tried not to laugh too hard at his over-the-top reaction, knowing that it would only piss him off more.

“Hey, Car?” you said.

“What?”

“Thanks for talking with me. It actually helped me a lot.”

“I may not be good at dealing with my own feelings,” he smiled, “but I sure as hell am good at dealing with other people’s.”

“Ok, moment is gone,” you laughed.

* * *

You grabbed your phone from the bathroom counter and slowly shuffled towards your room. The night was still young, but you were tired and looking forward to spending the next couple hours in bed and enjoying your freedom. Charlie had texted you about an hour ago, and the two of you had shared some nice conversation in the time since.

**_Charlie:_ ** _ I’m actually from Washington, but Ohio had a better history program than any of the schools in my area. Are you from around here? _

Although you were enjoying talking with Charlie, you couldn’t help but feel that conversation was a little boring. Sure, you had only started talking today so you still had to get through all of the introductory questions, but even his answers were bland. Tyler always had such interesting answers to even the most basic of questions.

Tyler. It seemed that despite your best efforts, he had still found his way into your thoughts again.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Yeah, I am! My dad works for a big company downtown so I’ve always lived in or around Columbus. My mom is also from around here so there was really never any reason for us to move since my family is close. _

You sent the text and tossed your phone down on your bed while you waited for a response. In the meantime, you decided to go on Tumblr and see what new stuff had been posted since you last checked in. There were a few good posts that you decided to reblog, but you didn’t get far before your phone vibrated with a notification.

**_Charlie:_ ** _ That’s super cool! Ohio is a pretty cool place, from what I’ve seen so far. I’m definitely thinking about staying here over the summer just to see what it’s like! _

You groaned and fell back onto your pillows. Charlie was really nice, from what you could tell, but he also had the tendency to make things all about him. It felt like you could barely get a word in about yourself before he switched it back to him.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Columbus during the summer is the best! I would totally live here, if you get the chance. There’s a ton of cool things to do that you don’t really get an opportunity to during the colder months. _

Fed up with the one-sided conversation, you decided to text someone that you knew wouldn’t let you down. This also just so happened to be the same person that you were supposed to be getting over your feelings for.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Bored out of my mind. Entertain me! _

Your phone vibrated hardly a minute later, making your stomach fill with butterflies. To your disappointment, it was only another text from Charlie.

**_Charlie:_ ** _ What kind of stuff happens? I’m always down for new adventures! _

“Oh, Charlie,” you sighed. “If only there was  _ some _ way for you to find out what kind of summer activities Columbus has!”

You set your phone on your stomach and stared up at the ceiling, just waiting for the moment that Tyler would text you back. He was usually pretty good about responding in a timely manner.

Sure enough, your phone vibrated a short time later.

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Want to hear about this prank I’m pulling on Josh? _

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Obviously! :P _

Tyler’s single text had already made you smile more than any of Charlie’s poor attempts at flirting with you. There just wasn’t a competition between the two of them: Tyler won by a landslide. You bit down on your lip as you read Tyler’s text, detailing his plan to prank Josh.

So much for your attempt to get over him.


	8. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2578
> 
> Author’s Note: I accidentally went a little overboard when writing this chapter, as you can probably tell by the word count. I had a lot of ideas I wanted to include! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

I pulled my song folder out of my bag and set it on the table between Josh and I. He placed a hand on it and slid it towards him before slowly pulling out all the new sheets. The half-crumpled pages that Y/N had rescued from the recycling bin were still in there.

“Why are these so crumpled?” he asked as he pulled them out.

I smiled, “Long story.”

Josh simply nodded and began to flip through the pages. A smile flickered across his face now and again.

“This is looking really good, Tyler. There’s definitely a solid foundation for some new songs in this one.”

I grabbed the pages from him and flipped through until I found the one I was looking for. It was easy to tell apart from the others because of the little sun doodles that I had added in the corner.

“What do you think of this?” I asked, handing the single piece of paper back to him. “I think it would be good for an album closer, don’t you think?”

Josh read over the page a couple times. He rubbed his hand along his jaw as he did so, something he only did when he was really thinking about something. Slowly, he began to nod.

“Yeah, for sure.”

“Great. What do you say we run through some of the old stuff? Then we can work on writing.”

“Let’s do it.”

While Josh got up and began to mess with his drums, I neatly organized the papers and put them back into the folder. Years of watching Y/N meticulously organize her school supplies had rubbed off on me, especially when it came to something as important as my music.

“Alright, I’m ready,” Josh said. He was tapping out a rhythm on his drums that I didn’t recognize.

“Oh, I like that. Don’t forget that,” I said, pointing to him.

Josh looked down at his hands, as if he hadn’t even realized that he had been playing. He looked a little more focused as he ran through it a couple more times.

“Ok, it’s in here,” he laughed, tapping a drumstick to his forehead.

I sat down at the piano and took a moment to play some random melodies and get comfortable with the keys before we actually started to play. It was a habit that I had quickly developed after learning to play the keyboard in high school. For some reason, I was convinced it helped me play better.

“Where should we start?” Josh asked.

“Well, should we run through the whole thing? Or just practice some of the rougher songs?”

“How about we start at the top and see how we feel?” he suggested.

“Perfect.”

* * *

Josh and I, after deciding to practice the album in its entirety, figured it was best to take a break once we got through about half of the songs. Both of us were starving and starting to get irritable with one another, which was never a good combination.

“Let’s order some food before we end up tearing each other’s heads off,” Josh laughed.

“Agreed,” I said, already reaching for my phone. To my surprise, there was a text from Y/N. 

**_Y/N:_ ** _ I need your help. It’s important. _

I answered instantly.

**_Tyler:_ ** _ What’s up? _

My head was full of possibilities about what she could need help with, but I couldn’t really do anything until she told me what was going on. Josh noticed my concerned look.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, just a friend of mine said she needed help and I’m waiting to figure out what it is.”

“Y/N?”

My mouth curved up into a half-smile, “Yeah.”

“Shocking. Anyway, what are you in the mood for?”

“Pizza is easy and cheap.”

“And they deliver,” Josh chimed in.

“Then let’s do pizza.”

“Pepperoni?”

“No, no. Get Hawaiian.”

Josh’s nose wrinkled immediately, “There’s no way we’re getting pineapple on pizza.”

“Why not? It’s good!”

“No. It’s disgusting.”

“Come on, Josh! Y/N and I always get a Hawaiian pizza.”

“Of course you found a way to bring her into this,” Josh smiled.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You just talk about Y/N a lot,” Josh shrugged. “That’s all.”

“Right.”

_ Right _ .

“What if we just get half and half? Then you get your disgusting pizza and I get my delicious pepperoni.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” I nodded.

“Ok, I’ll go call it in.”

Josh grabbed his phone and walked into the other room, already dialing the pizza place. I, on the other hand, had a text from Y/N to attend to.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Carter and I are having a debate: are carts or bikes better in Mario Kart? _

I laughed and shook my head. Of course she just needed help settling a debate between her and Carter. The two of them were always debating some random topic or another.

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Bikes, all the way. They take up less space and are just better all around. _

**_Y/N:_ ** _ THANK YOU! Carter has been going on and on about how much better carts are because they get knocked around less easily, but there’s no way that that single benefit outweighs all the benefits of a bike. Wait until he hears the opinion of our resident Mario Kart expert :) _

Y/N’s text reminded me of all the weekends we had spent holed up in her den, having Mario Kart tournaments with her brother and eating whatever snacks we could find in their pantry. We hadn’t been able to do that much since I joined the band and Y/N went off to college, there just wasn’t time.

“Pizza should be here in twenty minutes,” Josh announced as he walked back into the room.

“Awesome.”

“You look happy.”

“Yeah, just-,” I waved my phone in the air for emphasis.

“Of course,” he grinned. “Did you figure out what she needed help with?”

“Yeah, there was just a debate she needed to settle with her brother. Nothing serious.”

“That’s good. Wouldn’t want you having to leave in the middle of practice.”

“You know that music is super important to me and I would only leave if the emergency was even more important than this.”

“I don’t know,” Josh laughed a little. “Y/N seems pretty important to you.”

“She’s just a friend.”

“ _ Just _ a friend?”

I rolled my shoulders, “Yeah.”

“If you say so. I might go after her if you don’t.”

I laughed, but my body still tensed up at the mere thought of Y/N and Josh together. 

No. Stop.  _ Tyler _ .

“I think I’m going to try and work out some new melodies on the piano,” I said, excusing myself from the conversation. “Let me know when pizza gets here.”

I grabbed my folder as I brushed past Josh towards my piano. All of the anger was probably just hunger talking, so some time playing music would help calm me back down. What I had said was true: Y/N was just my friend. Josh wanting to go after her was me being protective. That was all.

Twenty minutes later, Josh walked over and set the pizza box on top of the piano. It smelled amazing and my stomach rumbled in response.

“How much do I owe you?” I asked as I grabbed a slice.

“$6.50.”

With my free hand, I pulled out my wallet and gave Josh the change for the pizza. 

“Feel better now that you have food?” he smiled.

“Yeah, sorry for earlier.”

“It’s fine. It’s warm in here, we’re starving, and I was trying to get information out of you. It wasn’t really a winning combination.”

I laughed, “Definitely not.”

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was another text from Y/N, this time a picture of her brother flipping off the camera while still playing video games with his free hand.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ He’s pouting because he was proven wrong and I beat him and his stupid cart while I was on a bike three times in a row _

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Nice one, Y/N _

Josh was watching me as I texted Y/N, but he didn’t make a comment about her this time. I simply raised my eyebrows at him and took another bite of pizza.

“So, I had this idea for the next album…” he started.

* * *

“Same time tomorrow?” Josh asked as I dropped him off.

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up at two.”

“Sounds great. Thanks for giving me a ride.”

“No problem.”

He grabbed his bag from where it had been sitting at his feet and shut the passenger door behind him. Once he had made it around the car and onto the sidewalk, I took off for my apartment. It was a fairly long drive home - twenty minutes, if I was lucky and traffic wasn’t bad - but I didn’t really mind. I liked having the time to think.

As I drove, I wondered what Y/N was up to. It had been a few days since I had last seen her, mostly because she was busy with projects and papers, and I was starting to miss her. In the spur of the moment, I pulled up against the curb and grabbed my phone.

She picked up quickly, “What do you want?”

“Hello to you too,” I laughed.

“Sorry, I made Carter pause Mario Kart and he’s getting impatient.”

“Yeah! Hurry up, Joseph!” Carter called in the background.

“That’s actually what I called about.”

“Mario Kart?” she asked.

“Yeah. I just got done with band practice and after you texted about the debate, it made me think about the tournaments we used to have when we were younger.”

“Are you asking what I think you’re asking?” she asked. The excitement was evident in her voice.

“Mario Kart tournament?”

“Yes! Get your butt over here!”

“Alright,” I laughed. “I just left Josh’s so it will be awhile, but I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

“I can’t wait to crush both of you at Mario Kart,” Carter added.

“Shut up, Car, I’ve beat you like every time.”

“I’ll see you soon,” I said.

“Ok, drive safe!”

“Bye.”

I tossed my phone back down and pulled away from the curb, already planning what strategy I was going to use.

* * *

“Again?” Y/N whined as I crossed the finish line in first place, yet again.

“You invited me over here!” I shrugged.

Carter leaned forward and snatched up the bag of Doritos that I had sitting by my leg.

“You don’t deserve these anymore,” he huffed.

“I bet it’s the Doritos making him win!” Y/N chimed in.

“Or the Oreos.” I gestured to the half-empty packet of Oreos by my knee.

“Whatever it is, you’re going to lose.”

Carter started up the next set of races and I took a moment to shake out my wrist. We had been playing for close to two hours now and keeping track of who had the most wins. I had about eight wins under my belt, but Y/N wasn’t too far behind. As for Carter, well, he had seen better Mario Kart days.

I was nearing the end of the third lap when Y/N leaned over and pushed me towards the floor. It threw me off just enough to make me lose focus for a second and allow her to pass me.

“Hey!” I said, “That’s cheating!”

“Not cheating,” she argued, still making sure to gently elbow my right arm. “Just a distraction.”

I managed to catch the wind from the back of her bike and race past her. The finish line was in sight, just ahead of me.

“Ty!” she screeched. “How in the world?”

“Talent.”

Just as I was about to finish the race, a red shell came rushing towards me and stopped my just shy of the finish line. Y/N zipped past me before I could recover, earning her the spot of first place.

“Yes!” she said, shooting up to a standing position. “I won the first race!”

“By cheating!”

“It was not cheating!”

“Was too!”

“You’re just  _ jealous _ .”

“I’m not jealous.”

She looked so cute as she began to dance around the room in her oversized sweatshirt. In one dramatic motion, she grabbed a blanket and pulled it around her shoulders like a cape.

“I’m the queen of Mario Kart!” she announced.

“Y/N, you won one race. Tyler is still way ahead of you,” Carter said.

“Shh, peasant,” she held a hand out to him. “Your queen is celebrating.”

Carter and I shared a look as she continued to parade around the room. Eventually, she grew tired of the performance and took a seat back next to me on the floor, a little closer than she had been before.

“You still have three more races to win if you even want a chance at beating me,” I smiled.

“I’ll do it, just you watch.”

“And no more cheating.”

“No promises.”

We finished the next three races, most of which went by without incident. Although Y/N didn’t do anything drastic to aid her wins, she did manage to elbow me here and there. It’s not like she needed to, her arm simply brushing against mine now and again while she played was enough of a distraction.

“Ok, let’s find out who won and then I need to get home,” I said.

Carter grabbed the piece of paper that we had been scorekeeping on.

“With nine wins, our first place champion is…” Carter looked at the two of us. ”That’s your cue to drumroll,” he added with a whisper.

Y/N and I both drummed against our legs, creating a very quiet drumroll.

“Tyler Joseph!”

I stood up and did my own little happy dance around the room.

“But that’s not all!” Carter said. “Also with nine wins, making them tied for first place with Joseph, is…”

Another quiet drumroll.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N!”

“Yes!” Y/N cheered, immediately jumping to a standing position. “Ha! Take that, Tyler!”

I reached out to shake her hand, “Congratulations, Y/N.”

She shook my hand for a brief moment before grabbing her blanket cape from earlier. This time, she draped it around both of our shoulders. With one arm around my waist, she began to parade both of us around the room.

“Bow down, Car! Your brand new bike-using Mario Kart champions have arrived.”

“I’m not worthy,” he said sarcastically.

Y/N laughed and stopped leading me around the room, although she kept an arm wrapped around my waist. I knew I needed to leave, but she…

Nope. Not happening.

“I should go,” I said, already beginning to peel the blanket away.

Y/N’s arm dropped away and went to grab the loose end of the blanket that I had let fall. She pulled it up over her shoulder and wrapped it tightly around her so that it no longer looked quite like a cape.

“It’s late,” she nodded. Her mouth curled up into a slight smile. “Thanks for coming over, Ty. This was fun.”

“Agreed,” I said, returning her smile. “I’ll see you guys soon enough.”

“Later, Joseph,” Carter added.

Y/N waved to me before I left the room and headed down the stairs. I could already hear the two of them starting a debate about something new as I opened the front door. It had been a good day, that was for sure.

There was just a lot for me to think about.


	9. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst, profanity, self-deprecation/self-doubt
> 
> Word Count: 2344
> 
> Author’s Note: You knew the angst was coming eventually :) Regardless, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“Carter!” you yelled from the kitchen.

“What?”

“Where the hell did you put the Doritos?”

“I ate them!”

“ _ Carter! _ ”

You went stomping up the stairs to Carter’s bedroom and flung the door open. He was sitting on his bed and messing around on his guitar. Right next to him was the now empty bag of Doritos.

“I’m going to kill you!” you fumed. Unfortunately, house rules kept you from going past the doorway until he gave you permission.

His head pulled back in surprise, “Why?”

“I told you that Tyler was coming over today and that the Doritos were for us! Then you ate them!”

“Chill, Y/N, I’ll run down to the 7-11 and grab some for you.”

He set his guitar down against the wall and dusted some crumbs off of his shirt as he stood up. You were surprised that he was actually willing to correct his mistake.

“Oh, um, thanks, Car.”

“No problem,” he said, giving your shoulder a pat as he brushed past you.

You turned and walked back to your room where Tyler was waiting. He had stretched out a bit more on your bed, so you shoved his legs over a bit as you took a seat next to him.

“What was that all about?” he asked.

“Carter ate the chips that I specifically asked him not to last night, but he offered to get us more. He should be back in like five minutes.”

“Oh, cool,” Tyler nodded.

You smiled. Today was the first day that you and Tyler had been able to hang out without either of you worrying about music or school, aside from when he had come over to play Mario Kart a few nights ago. Finals were only a week away, so you wanted to be able to have some stress-free time with him before you started studying.

“Want to play some video games?” you asked.

“Sure, why not?”

The two of you walked into the den. Tyler got comfortable on the couch while you turned on the Wii and loaded up Mario Kart. It was the only game that the two of you never seemed to get tired of, no matter how often you played.

“You’re not going to cheat this time, are you?” Tyler laughed.

“I’ve never cheated,” you answered as you sat down next to him.

You gave Tyler space for the sake of not making him feel awkward about sitting super close together. To your surprise, he adjusted his legs a little bit so that your knees were rested against one another. It took a lot of self-control to not start smiling, but you managed to play it cool.

“Are you going to use a bike?” he asked.

“Obviously,” you scoffed. “They’re the superior means of transportation.”

“Agreed.”

You tapped the Wii remote idly against your hand as you waited for Tyler to finish figuring out his bike setup.

“Hey, put your wrist strap on,” he said before you started the race.

You simply laughed at his request, “What are we, twelve?”

“This game gets dangerous! And I don’t think your brother would be very happy if you busted the TV.”

“I’m not going to bust the TV. If anything, one of us is going to end up concussed because I get too worked up about winning.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t have to worry about that much since you’re playing with me.”

“Oh, are we starting the trash talk already, Joseph?”

“Yes, now start the game.”

“Whatever you say.”

You and Tyler caught up about recent life events as you played the game, although there was the occasional bit of trash talk or taunts thrown in. Tyler talked about stuff he and Josh had been doing recently and you talked about school, mostly. It was nice that Tyler allowed you to ramble about the same stuff over and over, even if he didn’t really understand what it meant.

Carter arrived home in the middle of one of your matches with a bag of Doritos in hand. Without a word, he tossed them towards you. You expertly deflected the bag of chips away from your face with one hand without losing your place in the race.

“Car!” you yelled. “I’m in the middle of something.”

“Yeah, your welcome,” he laughed.

“Thank you!”

He disappeared out of the doorway, presumably back to his room to practice more guitar. As soon as your Mario Kart match ended, you cracked open the Doritos and ate a handful.

“I have to stay fueled so that I can keep winning these races,” you laughed as you grabbed another chip.

“In that case, give me some of those.”

You took a quick Dorito break before returning to the set of races that you were in the middle of. It was a toss up between the two of you still, with you only having a few more wins than Tyler did.

“Ready?” you asked before unpausing the game.

“Ready.”

Tension was high and your focus was on nothing else except the track in front of you as you hit the halfway point in the race. Tyler was close behind you, but he didn’t have the necessary tools to overtake you… yet. If things went his way, you could be easily knocked out of first place.

You expertly rounded a corner and started on the straightaway that led to the finish line. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you shot a green shell out into the abyss in front of you, hoping that it wouldn’t accidentally ricochet and hit you instead of one of your opponents. The finish line was right there…

And then your remote was snatched from your hands. It took you a second to register what had happened, but once everything clicked you turned to Tyler in a fit of frustration.

“Tyler!” you screeched, already reaching for the remote. “Give it back!”

He immediately held his arm out to the side as he attempted to drive with his free hand. You could tell the game was still running just based on the sounds. Your first place position was surely already gone, but you weren’t so sure that Tyler had been able to secure it either.

“Fork it over, Joseph!” you said, leaning over a little further to try and get it.

All at once, you lost your balance and came crashing down on top of Tyler. You were laying on top of him with only your forearms as a barrier between you and him. He was looking at you with raised eyebrows, as if he hadn’t entirely processed what was going on.

“Sorry,” you muttered sheepishly, although you didn’t move from your position.

Tyler simply flashed a devilish grin at you, “That’s why you always wear the wristband.”

You took a moment to admire his face from such a close angle. His brown eyes were shining in the bit of sunlight that was pouring in from the window. They were framed so nicely by his eyelashes. How had you never noticed that before? For a moment, you swore his gaze wandered down to your lips, but you couldn’t be sure.

After all, Tyler didn’t share your feelings.

You wondered if Tyler could feel how hard your heart was beating in your chest as you looked down at him. Why hadn’t either of you moved? You should move. And yet, something in the back of your mind was telling you not to. Tyler was still looking straight into your eyes; his gaze was shifting around ever so slightly.

His eyes squeezed shut for a brief moment and his head rolled slightly to the side. When they opened again, he was no longer looking at you. He simply handed you your remote and all but pushed you off of him. You were taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor.

“Here,” he said as he pushed the remote into your hand.

You sat back on the couch - now a considerable distance farther from Tyler - and turned back to the screen. The two of you were now in eleventh and twelfth place as a result of your antics. Without another word to one another, you crossed the finish line. You were last.

“I guess that didn’t work out so well, did it?” he said, followed by a petty excuse for a laugh.

“Nope, not really.”

The next race started, but you simply shut the console off and walked to your room. You were no longer in the mood for video games, or being around Tyler for that matter. One minute you thought you understood him, and then the next he went and did something like that. All you wanted was to believe him about his feelings, but the way he had looked at you… there was nothing platonic about it.

You collapsed down onto your bed with your back to the door. Tyler would come looking for you instantly, which meant that you only had a short amount of time to get the tears out of your eyes. If only you could talk to Carter right now. That would help things.

“Y/N?” Tyler said. His voice was gentle.

You turned to look at him. Your lip was already between your teeth, throbbing slightly from you nervously chewing on it. Tyler was leaned in the doorway with his arms crossed. He was looking at you now.

“What?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” you shrugged before turning back to the window.

The bed dipped with his weight as he sat next to you, so you scooted farther away to avoid sinking into the dip that had been formed. You wiped a tear away with your thumb before meeting his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“For?”

“Everything.”

You rolled your eyes, “Do you even know why I’m upset?”

He paused, bit his lip for a moment, then answered. “No.”

You rubbed your hands along your face before brushing them through your hair.

“I need an answer, Ty. A real, honest answer. Not the same bullshit excuse that you always give me.”

“You want to know about my feelings.”

“Yes.”

“I-,” he stopped almost as quick as he started. His eyes squeezed shut again. “I don’t feel that way about you, Y/N.”

“Then why do you keep doing this?”

“Keep doing what?”

You stood up and began to pace the room. There was too much adrenaline in your body for you to sit still.

“The flirting! It’s like… you tell me all these things about caring about me and thinking I’m pretty and spending time with me but for what? Do you think this is some kind of game? I’ve been in love with you  _ for years _ and every time you do something like this, you just pull me in further. Do you know what that’s like? How hard I’ve tried to get over you?”

“I didn’t realize that it was having such an effect on you.”

“Sure you didn’t, Ty. Because why would my feelings matter if you just got to play around and have fun flirting with no consequences?”

“Y/N, I promise you that’s not what I was trying to do. At all.”

“Then what was it, Ty? Because you’ve offered no other explanation.”

“I guess, um…”

You stared at him with crossed arms, waiting for whatever answer he decided to give you this time. It would probably sting just as much as his default answer, but at least it would feel genuine.

“Just spit it out, Tyler. There’s no point in stalling.”

“I guess I flirted with you because I felt bad that you liked me so much. I don’t know.”

“So you pity-flirted with me?” you said. The lump in your throat was so big that it hurt to talk.

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe you. I already had to admit that I had this huge crush on you in front of all our friends and you decided to spend the next four years flirting with me because you felt bad that you didn’t feel the same? Really? All you did was make things harder for me. God, Tyler, I never needed your stupid pity.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I thought I was helping-”

“Shut up,” you said. Your head was shaking so fast your vision was starting to blur. “Just shut up. I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say.”

You couldn’t even look at him. All the time that you thought he might have even an inkling of feelings for you was just because he wanted to indulge you a little. It had never meant anything, and now you had wasted all this time chasing after something that never existed.

“I should go,” he said.

“You should.”

You stared at the ground while Tyler got up and left the room. He shut your bedroom door behind him, and you didn’t dare to move from where you were standing until you heard his car pull away outside. Once you were sure he was gone, you went running to Carter’s room and pounded on the door.

“What the hell do you want now?” he called from the other side.

“Please, Car,” you said. Your voice cracked on the last syllable.

He opened the door right away once he realized something was wrong. You practically crashed into him and wrapped your arms around his torso.

“Y/N,” he said quietly. “Come here.”

Carter led you to the bed and sat you down, still allowing you to cry into his shoulder.

“What happened?” he asked while he gently rubbed your back. It was one of the things he always did when you were upset to help you calm down.

“I’m so stupid,” you sobbed. “So so so stupid.”

“Shh, you’re not stupid.”

You were and you knew it. No matter what Carter would try to tell you or what Tyler would eventually say when you decided to clear all this up, it would always be the same in your head.

You were stupid for ever believing a boy like Tyler Joseph could love you.


	10. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of depression, lots of self-doubt/self-deprecation, negative self talk, angst
> 
> Word Count: 2058
> 
> Author’s Note: Again, everything in this series is based on my own experiences with depression and anxiety! I understand that everyone experiences these things differently.

“Tyler, you idiot!” I yelled.

I smacked my hand into the steering wheel. It stung, so I flexed my fingers to release the pain.

“Idiot. Idiot. Idiot,” I muttered as I stuck the keys into the ignition.

The car roared to life, although it took me a few tries to actually get the keys where they were supposed to be. My hands were shaking as I tried to plug the aux cord into my phone. Music. I needed music. Something to drown out the thoughts.

I turned the radio up to full volume. The bass was shaking the entire car as I pulled away from the curb, but that’s what I wanted. 

I shouldn’t have lied.

I should go back. Tell her the truth. Why had I even lied in the first place?

I turned the music up louder and mumbled along to the lyrics of the song that was playing, just to give my mind something else to focus on. My eyes were brimmed with tears, making the road look fuzzy. I blinked them away as much as I could and wiped the rest away with the back of my hand. Getting home wouldn’t take long, and as soon as I was there I could let go.

I practically stumbled through the door to my apartment and collapsed onto the couch. The tears were coming freely now, streaming down my cheeks and falling onto my dark jeans. My entire body was shaking; it was full of adrenaline and anger and a million other feelings that I couldn’t quite place.

Pity-flirting? Really?  _ That _ was the best lie that I could come up with?

“God, you’re so stupid, Tyler,” I mumbled.

The look on her face… I couldn’t get it out of my mind. She had looked so upset. More upset than I had ever seen her before, except for maybe the night that she told me she had feelings in the first place.

And I was the cause of it.

I stood up and began to walk laps around the living room. If only my mind could shut up for two minutes and allow me to think about this clearly. Of course, my mind didn’t shut up and it just began to throw insults at me.

That was the root of the problem, wasn’t it?

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut  _ up _ .”

I pushed the palms of my hands deep into my eyes. Colors filled the dark space behind my eyelids, but that was quickly ended when I collided into the couch. My knee buckled from the impact and I fell forward onto it.

I couldn’t even  _ walk _ right.

This wasn’t going to work. I didn’t want to spend the rest of the night being the prisoner of my own thoughts, so I began to search the apartment for something to do. There had to be a movie that I hadn’t seen in a while or a TV series that I could binge in one sitting. I just needed something that would take my mind off of my stupid actions and stop me from this downward spiral.

I needed  _ her _ .

* * *

Beep-beep. Beep-beep.

I rolled over and smacked my hand straight into the nightstand. The pain made me wince, but I shook it out and grabbed my phone. It would be irresponsible for me to hit snooze a third time, so I pressed the end button and forced myself up into a sitting position.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stared at the wall. One minute. That’s how long I had been awake and I was already ready to go back to bed. My entire night had been spent tossing and turning, floating somewhere between being asleep and being awake. When I did sleep, it was plagued with nightmares.

After a few more minutes of staring at the wall, I got out of bed and pulled a pair of sweatpants on over my boxers. My feet scuffed against the wooden floors as I slowly moved towards the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. It didn’t take long for the thoughts to snake their way into my mind. I let them stay there as I waited for the coffee to brew.

She’s too good for you.

You’ve ruined everything.

Things will never be the same now.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, trying to rid the thoughts from my mind. The quiet hum of the coffee machine stopped, so I opened my eyes again. The mug was full now. I grabbed it and wandered over to the window.

A few cars were driving by on the street below. I watched them go past, bumping slightly over the uneven street. For a moment, my mind was at peace.

I couldn’t say when I realized that I was in love with Y/N. There had been no light bulb that switched on. No magical moment when all the clues clicked into place. No sudden tug in my chest when it felt like I was seeing her for the first time all over again. None of it.

Part of me wondered if I had always been in love with her, ever since the moment she took the seat next to me in English and gave me that all-too-familiar smile. But I had been young then and the concept of love was far from the forefront of my mind, so we were friends. And for awhile, that was fine.

Time had continued on and the feeling that I had always chocked up to mere friendship began to seem like something much more. Despite my best attempts to push the feelings away, they only grew stronger. I found myself more and more drawn to her. Any excuse to be around her was a good one and when I was with her, nothing else mattered. She quieted the demons that so often plagued my mind.

I sighed and ran a finger around the edge of my coffee cup, pulling myself back to reality for a moment. On the street below, a particularly agitated driver honked at another that was taking too long to parallel park. The corner of my mouth curled into a smile, if only for a moment.

Just as quickly as I had pulled myself back into reality, I slipped away from it. My mind resumed where it had left off without missing a beat.

There was nothing I wanted more than to tell Y/N how I felt. I had played out the scenario in my head countless times, imagining what she would say in response. It always managed to put a smile on my face for a second, just thinking about what it would be like to tell her all the reasons I loved her.

Until I remembered the reasons why I wouldn’t.

I rubbed idly at my temple with my free hand as I began to run over the list of reasons. They were as familiar to me as any song lyric that I had ever written.

I was broken. Unworthy of love. Incapable of giving her the relationship she deserved. I was lucky that she had kept me around so long, even if just as a friend. There were other guys who were so much better than me. Her feelings for me were a joke. 

It was a tiring game, the one that I played with myself.

I gulped down the rest of my coffee and tossed the mug into the sink, filling it with just enough water that it wouldn’t end up staining the cup. If I wanted to avoid getting stuck in this spiral all day, I needed to get out and do something. Maybe Josh would be willing to hang out.

I shuffled back towards my room so that I could actually start to get ready for the day. My phone was still sitting on my bedside table, so I picked it up and dialed Josh as I began to look for a shirt to wear. Most of the shirts I owned were ones Y/N had helped me pick out. Typical.

“Hello?” Josh answered.

“Hey, Josh. How’s it hanging?”

“Pretty good. How’s it going with you?”

“I’m alive,” I laughed as I pulled out a blue shirt. It was one of the few I had bought on my own. It would do.

“That’s always good to hear.”

“Yeah. Anyway, the reason I called.”

“Yeah?”

“You want to do something today? Not band-related, maybe?”

Josh laughed quietly, “You need some bro time, huh?”

“You could say that.”

I put the phone on speaker so that I could pull the shirt on. It was a little looser than I remembered it being.

“I’m having lunch with my sister in twenty minutes, but I’m totally down to do something after.”

“That’s perfect. I need a little time to get ready.”

“Alright, I’ll text you in a little while then. We can figure out something to do.”

“Sounds great.”

“Later, Tyler.”

“Bye.”

Josh ended the call and I took a seat on the edge of the bed. It would be easier to stay in bed today and let myself think about all the things I had done wrong, but I knew that was a bad decision. Hopefully spending some time with Josh would be just the distraction I needed.

* * *

“There he is!” Josh smiled as I slid into the passenger seat of his car.

“Hi,” I answered, forcing a smile.

“Alright, where are we off to?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Want to grab some food?”

“Sure. Pizza?”

“Always,” Josh laughed.

He pulled away from the curb, nearly hitting another car as he did so, and took off down the street. Music was playing softly, but I recognized it as one of his favorite bands. Josh had the tendency to play whatever he wanted in the car, regardless of who he was driving with. Y/N always played something that we both liked.

Could she just stay off my mind for two seconds?

“Tyler?”

I hadn’t even realized Josh had been talking to me.

“Huh?”

“I asked how you were doing. Twice.”

“Oh yeah, I’m great,” I nodded. “Doing really well.”

“Are you sure? Because you just spaced out. Hard.”

“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I excused. “Three solid hours, maybe. The rest was just waking up every twenty minutes or so.”

“Aw man, that sucks. Was something on your mind?”

I bit down on my lip for a second, debating if I wanted to tell Josh about what had happened.

“Nope. Sleep problems just run in my family.”

Josh went off on a tangent about how some of his family members had the same issue, but I wasn’t really listening. He eventually finished his story and turned to me.

“Ah,” I nodded.

He shook his head, “Sorry, you’re exhausted and I’m just talking your ear off about my family. I’ll change the topic. How was hanging out with Y/N yesterday?”

I inhaled sharply at the mention of Y/N. The same stupid thoughts filled my mind, telling me about how terrible of a person I was. How I didn’t deserve her, even as a friend. How I was…

“It was fun,” I said, adding a bit of artificial excitement to my voice. “We just played video games and stuff. You know, the usual.”

“That sounds nice. You know, I’d like to meet her someday.”

“I’m sure you will. She’ll probably come to a couple shows, once we start playing more.”

“Right! We need to figure out some good venues to start playing once the album is out. A mini tour, of sorts,” he smiled.

“Yeah, a mini tour,” I said, matching his smile.

I scooted a little lower in my chair and looked out the window. Hanging out with Josh was supposed to distract me from everything that had happened, but instead it seemed to be making everything worse. I couldn’t get Y/N off my mind, no matter how hard I tried, and Josh bringing her up surely wasn’t helping.

Maybe one day I could work past all of this. All of the doubt that was holding me back from falling in love. All the fear that nobody would ever be able to love someone like me.

Maybe one day I could tell Y/N I loved her.


	11. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Profanity, some angst
> 
> Word Count: 2035
> 
> Author’s Note: I don’t really have much to say other than I hope you like this chapter! :)

“Come on, Y/N. It’s either call him or not talk to him ever again,” you said.

Your phone was sitting on the bed in front of you, just waiting for the moment when you finally mustered up the courage to call Tyler. It had been a couple days since your huge fight and you felt awful for how you had handled it. You had come to terms with the whole situation in your own head, but you still had to sort things out with Tyler before you could really let the whole thing go.

“This is your best friend we’re talking about,” you reminded yourself. “He’s going to pick up.”

You took a deep breath and grabbed your phone, dialing his number and hitting call before you even had a chance to second guess what you were doing. The first ring made you jump. The second one only made your heart start to beat faster. The third filled you with disappointment.

You were about to give up when the fourth ring stopped right in the middle. There was a bit of static before Tyler’s voice rang through your phone, clear as day.

“Hello?”

“Tyler?” you asked, still not entirely convinced that he hadn’t sent you straight to voicemail.

“Yeah. Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Why are you calling?” His tone wasn’t angry, as you had expected it to be.

“I wanted to talk to you. In person.”

“Oh, um, yeah. That would be good.”

“Are you free right now?”

“I’m with Zack, but I should be home in an hour. Does that work?”

“Yeah. Do you want me to come over?”

“Um, sure,” he answered. He seemed hesitant.

“Are you sure?”

“No. I’ll just drop Zack off and then come over. My family lives pretty close to yours, anyway.”

“Ok, that’s fine.”

“I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Later, Ty.”

You ended the call and tossed your phone down on the bed. That had gone much better than you anticipated, although you still had to have the actual conversation about your fight. It wasn’t something you were particularly looking forward to.

“Carter!” you yelled as you got off your bed.

“What?”

“Are you decent?”

“Yeah.”

You walked down the hall to Carter’s room and practically threw his door open. It crashed into his wall and made his entire desk rattle, which hadn’t been your intention.

“Y/N! What the hell?”

“Sorry! I’m nervous.”

“About?”

“Tyler is coming over in an hour.”

“He is?” Carter asked. He seemed genuinely surprised.

“Yeah.”

“To talk about,” he waved a hand in the air, “that?”

“Uh huh.”

Carter waved a hand at you, silently inviting you into his room. You walked inside and took a seat on the edge of his bed, across from where he was sitting at his desk.

“You’re going to be fine, you know that, right?”

“Yeah. I’m just afraid that I might lose Tyler in this whole process.”

“It’s just one fight. Even if it was a big one, you and Tyler have been friends for like six years. I don’t think it’s going to end your entire friendship.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“You’ve got this, Y/N.”

“Thanks,” you smiled. “Hey, can I, uh, hang out in here until he gets here? I don’t really want to be alone.”

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks, Car.”

“No problem.”

* * *

Tyler’s hair was a mess. That was the first thing you noticed, followed quickly by the deep bags under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping.

“My room?” was the first thing out of your mouth. Tyler nodded and stepped inside. He kicked his shoes off by the door.

You silently walked up the stairs and into your room. The sound of Carter practicing guitar in his room was barely audible, but it was just about the only sound in the house. Tyler walked in and sat down on your bed, but you decided to stay standing. It wouldn’t be long before you needed to start pacing.

“So, um-” Tyler started.

“Wait,” you interrupted. “I just want to start by saying that I’m so sorry, Tyler.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it isn’t. I shouldn’t have snapped at you the way I did. I mean, yes, I was hurt, but it’s not fair of me to scream at you because you don’t share my feelings. That was rude and you didn’t deserve that. I really am sorry, Tyler.”

“I accept your apology,” he said. There was the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

You took a deep breath, “Thank you.”

“And I want to apologize because I shouldn’t have led you on the way that I did. It wasn’t my place to flirt with you because I felt bad. You were right about me only making things harder on you and I should have thought about that.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“I just wish I felt the same, you know?”

You took a seat next to Tyler on the bed, “No, Tyler. It’s ok. Really. There’s nothing for you to feel sorry about. Feelings can’t be controlled, no matter what they are. I can’t force myself to not like you and you can’t force yourself to like me. It’s like you always say, it’s just another aspect of the friendship that we have.”

“Yeah, exactly,” he smiled.

You leaned back on your bed so that you could stare at the ceiling.

“Sometimes I just wish I didn’t have such a hard time moving past all of this as I do. It sucks to - I don’t know, just not be able to have a normal friendship.”

Tyler fell back onto the bed next to you.

“What makes you think our friendship isn’t normal?”

“Because I have feelings! Normal friends are just supposed to be… well, friends. Isn’t that on your mind every time we’re together?”

“Would you believe me if I said no?”

“Depends on how convincingly you said it,” you laughed.

“Ok, how about this?” Tyler cleared his throat, then with all the sincerity that he could muster, stated a simple, “No.”

“I would give it an eight out of ten for being convincing, but ten out of ten for delivery.”

“An eighteen out of twenty isn’t bad at all.”

You smiled and shook your head. Apparently, you had gotten yourself worked up over this conversation for nothing.

“So are we ok?” you asked.

“You mean, like with the fight?”

“No,” you answered sarcastically. “Yes with the fight, what else?”

“Yeah, we’re ok. And again, I’m sorry for what I did.”

“It’s fine, Tyler. We were both worked up and said things that we shouldn’t have.”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

The two of you stayed quiet for a little while. You felt surprisingly good about the whole thing, even if deep down you were still a little hurt by Tyler flirting with you for fun. At least now you knew that he felt bad about it and you could forget it all happened.

“Do you think I’ll ever get over you, Ty?” you asked.

“Do you want to?”

You both turned to look at one another.

“I don’t know if I have an answer for that.”

His eyes glanced down at your lips for a split second again, but they were quick to move back up to meet yours. You bit down on your bottom lip and pulled it between your teeth. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you were too afraid to break eye contact with him.

“Hey, Y/N!” you sat up at the sound of your brother’s voice just outside the door.

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you real quick?”

“Sure thing.”

You rubbed at your temple as you walked towards your bedroom door. Hadn’t Tyler just told you that he didn’t feel the same? That look… it was the same one from the other night when the fight happened. Friends didn’t look at each other like - well - like  _ that _ .

You opened the door just enough for you to slide through before closing it behind you again. Carter raised an eyebrow at you.

“What’s going on in there?” he asked, nodding his head towards the door.

“I’m not entirely sure,” you said. “We can talk about it later. What do you need?”

“I was about to make some dinner, and I was just wondering if you and Tyler wanted some.”

“You? Making dinner? Are you feeling ok?” you laughed, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead.

“Shut up,” he laughed, swatting your hand away. “Do you want any or not?”

“Let me ask.”

You opened the door and popped your head in. Tyler was sitting upright on the bed, now looking at his phone.

“Ty, do you want dinner?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

You turned back to Carter, “There’s your answer.”

“Great. Thanks, Y/N.”

“Good luck, Car.”

“I’ll need it.”

You walked back into your room. This time, you left the door open a crack just so that Carter wouldn’t be on your case about it later. It’s not like you and Tyler were up to anything, but he always liked to assume the worst. It was just part of him being a protective older brother.

“Now what?” you asked.

“I would suggest Mario Kart, but I feel like that’s all we do now,” Tyler laughed.

“There are worse ways to spend a day.”

Tyler was quiet for a moment, “Yeah.”

You took a seat on the ground, right in the patch of sunlight that was coming in from the window. It was warm, and you felt like you should give Tyler some space.

“Are you doing ok, Ty? You seem,” you paused, “tired.”

He slid down from the bed so that he was on the ground with you, “I’m ok. I am tired.”

“Is something going on with… you know?”

You pointed to your own forehead and tapped it a couple times for emphasis. Tyler wasn’t one to openly talk about his struggles, so you often found yourself pulling the information out of him in whatever creative way you could think of.

He shrugged, rolling his eyes as he did so, “I guess so.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Tyler pressed his lips together. His expression faltered for a moment, but it slowly returned to normal.

“Not really. Not today, at least.”

“Ok. I’m still here, if you need me.”

“I know.”

“Shit! Damn it! Y/N!”

Once again, you found yourself turning to the open door at the sound of Carter yelling from downstairs. In an instant, you were on your feet and taking the stairs down to the first floor two at a time. Carter was in the kitchen, standing in front of a pot that was boiling over.

“How do I make it stop?” he asked frantically. Dozens of paper towels were bunched up in his hands, half of which were soaked.

“Carter! You idiot,” you laughed as you shoved him out of the way and turned the heat down.

His hands dropped to his sides as he watched the water instantly drop back to a normal level, “Was it really that easy?”

“Yes! God, Car, are you sure you’re really 22?”

“Sometimes I don’t know.”

When you turned around, you noticed Tyler leaned against the island. He was smiling, an actual genuine smile. It was the first one that you had seen on his face all day.

“Why don’t we stay down here for awhile?” you asked. “I don’t think Carter should be left alone in the kitchen.”

“That sounds good,” Tyler nodded.

“I swear I can take care of myself!”

“I’m sure you can, bud.”

You grabbed some fruit from the fridge so that you and Tyler could actually do something productive while you were in the kitchen. Besides, it seemed like Carter needed to put all of his focus into whatever he was making.

“I’m glad we got this worked out,” Tyler said quietly as he threw some grapes into the bowl.

You turned to look at him, only to realize that he was already looking at you. He was smiling again. After a moment of staring, you broke eye contact and started to cut up another strawberry.

“Yeah. Me too.”


	12. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Potential secondhand embarrassment, brief mention of blood/injury, minor angst
> 
> Word Count: 1833
> 
> Author’s Note: I can’t believe we’re on chapter ten already? It feels like this series is absolutely flying by. Anyway, thank you to all of you for the continued support and I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

“Ty! Look at this,” Y/N giggled.

We were sitting on the floor of her bedroom, looking through one of the many memory boxes that she kept buried in the back of her closet. She liked to pull them out from time to time and look through them. I had to admit, it was nice to see her so happy over little things.

She passed the yearbook that she was holding over to me and pointed at one of the pictures in the bottom left corner. It was a picture of the two of us sitting in class, looking at something on her laptop. Seeing it made me smile.

“We look tiny,” I laughed, leaning a little closer to the picture. “Were we freshman in this picture?”

“Yeah, that was like right after we became friends.”

“Right! We had english together and Mr. Brown hated that we always talked to one another.”

“It was the start of it all,” she laughed, taking the book from my hands.

I grabbed the box she had been looking through and pulled it towards me. It was full of all sorts of random bits and pieces: college acceptance letters, drawings that had been given to her by some of her cousins, old photos. Y/N liked to hold on to everything.

I spotted a half-bent piece of notebook paper towards the bottom of the pile. My name was written on it in messy handwriting, but I didn’t remember Y/N ever giving me a letter. I grabbed it from the box and began to open it, but Y/N was quick to snatch it from my hands.

“Don’t read that,” she said. Her face was already bright pink.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“If it’s nothing, then why did you keep it?”

“I keep everything, isn’t that obvious?”

“Come on, Y/N. Tell me what it is!”

“It’s just - nope, I can’t. Too embarrassing,” she said.

“If you tell me what it is, then I’ll confess something embarrassing about myself.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Promise?”

I held out a pinky, “Promise.”

She locked her pinky with mine and then took a deep breath.

“This is, um, a letter that I wrote. To you. Before the whole truth or dare incident.”

“Ok?” I said. That didn’t seem too bad.

“It was a confession about how I felt about you. I don’t know that I was ever planning to give it to you. Maybe if I was feeling brave one day. Obviously that opportunity never arose,” she laughed. “I think I even made a list of all the things that I liked about you… at the time.”

“Oh, Y/N, please let me read it!” I said, unable to keep the smile off my face.

“Not yet!” She pulled the letter closer to her chest. “You have to confess something embarrassing first.”

Embarrassing. There were plenty of things that came to mind at the mention of that word, but none of them were things that I was willing to admit to Y/N. Then something popped into my head that she would get a kick out of.

“Ok, um, do you remember that girlfriend that I briefly had when we were juniors?”

“How could I forget?”

I shot her a look, but she simply laughed.

“Anyway, I was kissing her one time, but I didn’t really know what I was doing.”

Y/N’s eyes went wide, “Oh no.”

“And I was trying to be all sexy so I bit her lip a little bit - well - I thought it was a little bit, but I got a little too excited and accidentally made her lip bleed. That was the real reason she broke up with me, not because I didn’t actually like her that much, like I told everyone.”

“ _ Tyler _ ,” she gasped. “You made her lip bleed?”

“Yes! Ok, I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, refusing to meet Y/N’s eyes. My face felt like it was going to melt straight off my skull.

“Alright, just for that I’ll read you some of the reasons that I liked you,” she laughed.

I watched as she carefully unfolded the paper. Her eyes scanned the page and she started to cringe a little. From the light filtering in behind her, I could see that she had filled almost the entire page with words.

“This is worse than I remember,” she said quietly.

“Just read it.”

“Ok, number one,” she looked at me for a moment before continuing. “Good at basketball.”

I nodded, “Interesting choice for the number one spot.”

“Number two: fluffy hair.”

I ran a hand through my hair, “Agreed.”

“Number three: pretty eyes.”

“You think my eyes are pretty?” I grinned.

“Yes, Ty, you have very pretty eyes.”

“Why thank you.”

“Number four - oh no, I can’t read that one!” she giggled.

“Y/N, I just told you that I made a girl’s lip bleed while making out with her. I think you can read off number four.”

She sighed and then looked directly at me. I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Number four.” She winced as she read out the rest of the sentence, “Luscious lips.”

I touched a hand to my lips, “Are my lips really that luscious?”

“According to fifteen year old me, yes. There’s even a heart next to that one.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. 

“Ok, I think we’ve had enough of that,” Y/N said, already folding the paper back up and sticking it into the box.

“No! I was enjoying that.”

“I know, that was the problem,” she giggled.

“How many more numbers were there?”

“Too many.”

Y/N went back to flipping through the pages of the yearbook in her lap, occasionally pausing to look at a photo a little closer. She looked so gorgeous with the sunlight illuminating her silhouette. Like an angel, almost. I wanted to take a picture of her, just so I could remember this moment, but there was no way I would be able to pull that off without her noticing.

I was able to appreciate how pretty she looked for about thirty seconds before my mind flipped. The same thoughts that I had heard a million times began to run their course, and I let them. There was no use in fighting it at this point.

Why did it have to be so hard for me to tell her something so simple? Did I really think I was that worthless? To prevent me from being happy?

I grabbed one of the other yearbooks that was sitting next to Y/N’s legs and began to flip through its pages. At least that would give my mind something else to focus on. As I began to flip through the pages, I noticed little notes that Y/N had left in the margins of the pages. Most of them were little memories or comments about people in the photos.

I stumbled across the basketball page, which just so happened to have the most comments out of all the pages. Y/N wasn’t paying enough attention to me to realize what I had happened to find, but I still shifted a little just to make sure that I had a chance to read the little notes. It was hard not to absolutely beam as I read them.

Basketball champ! Scored over 500 points in the season!

Good basketball skills, even better music skills!

Cute face and star of the team? He’s a keeper!

“Hey, what did you find?” Y/N asked.

I immediately slammed the yearbook closed, somehow managing to smash my finger in the process. Y/N’s eyes moved down to the yearbook and then back up to mine.

“Oh no, what did you see?” she winced.

“Nothing,” I muttered, still trying to manage the pain of my throbbing finger.

“Please tell me, Ty. That’s the book with all the notes, isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“What page were you looking at?”

“Are you hiding something from me?” I smiled.

She rolled her eyes, “No, Ty, when have I  _ ever _ hidden something from you?”

“So you are!”

“Am not!”

“Don’t worry, I was just looking at all the school pictures and remembering all the people that we dealt with for so long.”

“So you saw all my lovely comments about our classmates?”

“Yep,” I grinned.

“Oh well, there were worse things that you could have seen.”

“Like?”

“Ha, nice try, Ty.”

I was glad that things had returned to normal after my fight with Y/N. It had taken a few days for us to kind of get comfortable again, but now it was like nothing had ever happened. Everything was just like it was before, right down to me admiring her and never letting her know.

She deserved better than me, anyway.

“Look at Carter!” she squealed, pointing to another photo in the yearbook.

“Are you sure that’s Carter?”

“Yes, 100%. It was when he let his hair grow out. Oh man, I’m surprised my mom let it grow that much before she made him chop it all off.”

Her smile was so gorgeous. I should just tell her. It would make her smile even more, wouldn’t it?

No. Don’t play that game.

“What else do you have in here?” I asked, starting to sift through the box.

“Lots of random stuff. Probably some really embarrassing stuff, if you look hard enough.”

“Like this?”

I grabbed a polaroid picture that was sitting off to one side. It was of her and one of her other high school friends - the one that dared her to admit her feelings for me, actually - wearing crazy makeup and making dramatic faces.

“I swear, you’re like a magnet for the worst stuff in here,” she laughed, leaning a little closer to me so that she could see the picture.

“Are you kidding? You look great.”

She shot me a look, “Shut up.”

I grabbed another set of pictures from the box. These ones were from when we had gone to the beach shortly after graduating high school. It was like our own mini celebration.

“Oh man, I remember this day,” I smiled.

“What day?” Y/N leaned over so that she could see what I was looking at. “Oh, our beach day!”

“That was fun.”

“It was. Hey! Now that I’m done with finals, why don’t we go?”

“What, like, tomorrow?”

“Why not?”

A whole day at the beach with just Y/N. It sounded - well - perfect.

“Let’s do it. I can pick you up early tomorrow and we can make the drive.”

“Yes! Ty, I’m so excited!”

I nodded. Maybe tomorrow would be the day that I finally let it all out on the table. I felt awful lying to Y/N about my feelings, but deep down I knew that I was making the right decision. There were better people out there for Y/N.

Who was I to take their place?


	13. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2219
> 
> Author’s Note: Small disclaimer - I have never been to the Great Lakes and therefore know nothing about what they are actually like. The beach in this chapter is based on my experience with the actual ocean, so I apologize if it isn’t entirely accurate! Anyway, I can’t believe we’re officially halfway through this series already. I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

“My shorts!” you yelped as the wave splashed up and soaked the brim of your shorts.

“What did you expect to happen?” Tyler called from the safety of the coast. “You’re up to your knees in water!”

“At least I’m having fun!”

Tyler sighed and crossed his arms, shooting you yet another disapproving look. You had spent the entire afternoon trying to get him to join you in the water, but he was indignant about staying on the dry sand.

Before the next wave hit, you started to wade back to shore. This, of course, involved a lot of awkward limb movement as you tried to fight against the tides flowing back towards the lake.

“Yeah, that looks like a blast,” Tyler said as you joined him just out of reach of the waves.

“Tyler, we did not come all the way to the beach for you to watch me play in the water alone.”

“I’m having a great time!”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re wearing socks! And Vans! On the  _ beach _ !”

“And?”

“Take them off.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re coming in the water with me. Right now,” you demanded.

“What if our stuff gets stolen?” he asked as he pulled off his socks.

“I would consider it a good thing, considering how beat up your shoes have gotten.”

“They’re my show shoes!”

“Then why are you wearing them at the beach?”

“Because they’re also my only shoes.” You laughed as Tyler placed his things in a neat little pile in the sand. “Ok. Take me away, water.”

“Dork.”

You grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the water alongside you. It took you awhile to convince him to get past water that was ankle-deep, but you made it happen. He actually seemed pretty happy in the lukewarm lake water.

“See? Is this so bad?” you asked, finally dropping his wrist from your grip.

“I guess not.”

He turned to you with the all-too-familiar dorky grin on his face. You grabbed your phone from your pocket and opened up the camera.

“What was that for?” he asked as you reviewed the photo.

“I just like to document things that happen. Don’t act like you don’t know that,” you smiled.

Tyler kicked idly at the water, creating little ripples that bumped into your leg. You turned out towards the horizon and watched a few boats that were cruising along the calm waters. It was peaceful.

That is, until Tyler decided to make sure it wasn’t.

Water splashed along your side, almost completely soaking the fabric of your t-shirt. In an instant, you turned to see Tyler with his sleeves pushed up and a devilish smile on his face. He was preparing to splash another heap of water at you, but stopped when he noticed the expression on your face.

“Ty- _ ler! _ ” you yelled. “You’re going to pay for that!”

“Try me,” he grinned, already jumping through the water away from you.

You chased after him, attempting to toss water at him whenever you got close. Most of your attempts were in vain, and running around in the water was only soaking your clothes even more than they had been. From the looks of it, Tyler was facing the same issue.

“My clothes are wet now,” he frowned, pulling at his shorts a little.

“Serves you right.”

He shook some water off his hands before turning to you, “Hey, the sun is starting to set. We should go get our pizza and grab our stuff from the car before it really kicks off.”

“Good idea.”

The two of you waded out of the water and headed back towards your favorite pizza place. When you were about halfway down the sand, the strap on your flip flop completely snapped.

“Aw man,” you sighed. “That’s an issue.”

Tyler turned and started to walk backwards, “What?”

“My shoe. It’s busted.”

“I think I have a pair of Maddy’s shoes in the back of my car. You could wear those, if you want.”

“That’s great, but how am I going to get to the car with a busted shoe?”

“I have an idea,” Tyler grinned.

You started to ask what his plan was, but you stopped when Tyler bent down in front of you. With a laugh, you hopped onto his back and wrapped your arms around him.

“You know, I could probably make it down the rest of the beach without my shoes,” you said as Tyler carried you along the sand.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t want the princess to hurt her poor feet.”

You rolled your eyes, but decided not to make a comment since you were kind of relying on him for the time being. Besides, you weren’t about to risk losing an opportunity to be this close to him.

Tyler left you on a bench outside the pizza place while he went inside and ordered pizzas. He couldn’t have been gone for more than ten minutes before he was outside again, carrying two boxes.

“This is going to be a bit awkward,” he said, looking between you and the boxes.

“Here, set the pizzas down,” you instructed him.

He did as he was told. You then hopped onto his back and grabbed the pizza boxes, which may have involved Tyler nearly dropping you head-first onto the bench you had previously been sitting on. Thankfully, that didn’t happen and the two of you were able to laugh about the entire situation. Now with pizzas in hand, you headed back towards the car to grab things for your little fire.

“Look who’s wearing Vans at the beach now,” Tyler grinned as he handed you a pair of Maddy’s shoes.

“Not by choice!”

“I still don’t want to hear another word from you about me wearing Vans at the beach.”

“And  _ socks! _ ”

“Hey! What did I just say?”

“Sorry,” you giggled.

“Come on, let’s go claim a good spot on the beach before they’re all taken.”

Tyler grabbed a few things from the back of the car before slamming the trunk and leading the way back towards the beach. The sky was just barely beginning to turn pink, but you could already tell that the sunset was going to be gorgeous. You were so busy admiring the sky that you nearly tripped down the stairs that led to the sand.

“Careful,” Tyler laughed, holding out a hand to keep you from falling over entirely. “I don’t want you destroying the most precious thing on this beach right now.”

“Aww, Ty,” you smiled.

“I meant the pizzas.”

“Ty!” You lightly smacked his arm.

“But I guess it would be pretty bad if you got destroyed too.”

“Oh, wow, thanks.”

You found a good spot a decent distance from the water that was sheltered by a log. The wind protection would make starting a fire on the beach a whole lot easier. Tyler wasted no time in dumping all of his materials out into the sand and beginning to construct a little fire.

“How does that look?” Tyler asked, gesturing to his little pile of sticks.

“Like an unlit fire.”

Tyler shot you a look as he dug the small box of matches out of his sweatshirt pocket. You munched on a piece of pizza while he attempted to light the newspaper he had used for kindling.

“Is that working?” he asked, leaning down a little closer to the tiny flame.

“Careful!” you said, using your free hand to grab at his shoulder. “Or you’re going to singe an eyebrow.”

“That might be a good look.”

“It most definitely would not be.”

The fire slowly continued to grow larger until it was burning steadily. Tyler, now happy with his creation, sat back on the sand next to you and grabbed his pizza box. The sun was much lower in the sky now, turning most of the clouds shades of pink and orange.

“Thanks for building a fire, Ty,” you said, turning to look at him.

“No problem.”

Golden light was shining over him, highlighting all of his features. He looked absolutely perfect as he ate his pizza in the dimming light. You couldn’t resist pulling out your phone to take a picture of him.

“What are you doing?” he asked, noticing your camera in his peripheral vision.

“The light on you is really nice right now. I just wanted to capture the moment.”

Tyler made a cheesy face at you, but you simply sighed and shook your head. Gently, you reached out and pushed his chin so that he was looking out towards the lake again.

“Just stay like that,” you said, taking a moment to find the perfect angle.

After taking a couple pictures, you scrolled through them just to make sure they weren’t blurry. They had turned out looking almost as good as Tyler did sitting right next to you.

“Wow, you’re perfect,” you muttered, followed by the immediate realization that you had said that out loud. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

“I take it the pictures turned out well?” he grinned.

“Um, yeah.”

“Take one of me eating pizza!”

Your face was still burning as you took pictures of Tyler eating pizza. He had a slice stuck partly in his mouth, but he was looking at the camera with the best puppy dog eyes that he could muster. You giggled the entire time you were taking photos.

“That’s definitely going on Instagram,” Tyler said as he looked over the pictures. “Look at that smolder.”

“You did not just say that.”

“I did and I’m proud of it.”

You sighed and stuck your phone back into your pocket. Right now, you wanted to focus on the sunset and spending time with Tyler. This was the most at peace with everything in your life that you had felt for awhile and you didn’t want to waste a second of it.

You finished your pizza just as the sun was disappearing below the horizon. Next to you, Tyler was warming his hands by the fire. He turned to look at you.

“Was your pizza good?” he asked.

You nodded. “Yours?”

“Great. I wish the pizza places in Columbus were that good.”

“But now this pizza is special when we come to the beach.”

Tyler sighed and leaned back on his hands. You pulled your knees a little closer to your chest and held your hands towards the fire. The sun going down had significantly dropped the temperature on the beach and you were suddenly very glad Tyler had built a fire for the two of you to sit around.

“Oh, hey,” Tyler suddenly said, reaching for his backpack. “I have a song for you.”

“For me?”

“Well, for you to hear. I didn’t write it specifically for you.”

Your stomach sank a little bit, but you were still happy that Tyler wanted to play a song for you. He carefully pulled his ukulele out of his bag and began to tune it.

“Have you been carrying that around all day?” you asked.

“Uh, yeah,” he grinned. He took a few more moments to finish tuning his ukulele, then turned to you. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

The melody that he played was slow and simple, but it made you smile nonetheless. After the short instrumental intro, Tyler began to sing.

“I do not know why I would go in front of you and hide my soul.”

You didn’t recognize the song, so you were hanging on to every word just in case Tyler decided never to play it for you again. Despite the fact that Tyler had told you the song wasn’t for you, you couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to send you a message.

No, that was just you getting ahead of yourself.

“What did you think?” Tyler asked as he strummed the last note.

“I loved it,” you smiled. “What is it called?”

“Screen. It’s something that I wrote for the next album that Josh and I are working on.”

“If that’s anything like the rest of the songs, I can’t wait to hear it.”

Tyler smiled, “I can’t wait to play the rest of them for you.”

The two of you spent the rest of the evening sitting on the beach and enjoying the warm fire. Tyler played more songs for you, although most of them were ones that you had heard before or covers of songs that the two of you liked. Eventually, it started to get late and your fire was hardly more than a few embers.

“We should go,” you yawned. “My parents are going to start worrying.”

“Agreed.”

Tyler packed up his things while you kicked a bit of sand over the fire to finish it off. Although you could no longer see the lake, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was still audible. 

“Good idea to come to the beach,” Tyler said as you started to walk back towards the car.

“Thanks for coming with me,” you smiled. “It was a nice way to start spring break.”

Tyler wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into a side hug, which ended up being a bit awkward with all of the stuff that the two of you were carrying. Even still, you appreciated the gesture.

If only more days could be like today.


	14. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 1796
> 
> Author’s Note: As always, I wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has been showing support for this series! It means the world to me :) Also, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

I dumped my mug into the sink and rinsed it out, but left it to sit until I decided to do dishes later that night. There were other, more pressing, matters on my mind.

Like the beach trip with Y/N yesterday.

Everything had felt so natural, from her taking dorky pictures of us at sunset to carrying her around when her shoe broke. For the first time in a long time, I hadn’t been thinking about how she deserved someone better than me. Or how I would never be good enough.

All that mattered was us.

And yet, I was still too scared to tell her how I felt.

I grabbed a clean t-shirt from my closet and pulled it on over my sweatpants. There was still a couple hours until I had to meet Josh for practice, but I didn’t really want to spend the entire morning shirtless. My apartment was too cold for that, even after drinking a steaming cup of coffee.

My phone started to ring as I was in the middle of brushing my teeth. Normally, I would have made whoever it was wait until I was done, but this was Y/N.

“Hello?” I answered. My voice sounded weird, considering my mouth was full of toothpaste.

“Tyler!” she huffed. “I need your help settling a debate… again.”

“Is it Mario Kart related?”

“Always.”

“What’s the debate?”

“Ok, so this morning Carter and I were having a tournament using characters that we don’t normally use. I won’t tell you who chose who for sake of avoiding a biased answer, but the debate is about if Princess Peach or Baby Bowser is a better character.”

“Better for what?”

“Just in general.”

I spit out my toothpaste and rinsed my mouth before answering, taking the time to really contemplate my answer.

“Ok, I have an answer.”

“And?”

“Peach is better.”

“No, Tyler! Wrong answer!” she groaned.

“What do you mean wrong answer?” I laughed. “You asked for  _ my _ opinion, so that’s what I gave you.”

“Yes, but you were supposed to read my mind, determine that Baby Bowser was the correct answer, and then tell me that so that I could beat Carter in this stupid debate.”

“He said Peach was better?” Carter asked from the background.

“Yes!” Y/N answered. “Because he’s dumb.”

“Hey! You’ve said yourself that I’m the Mario Kart expert.”

“Yeah, well maybe that only applies in some areas.”

“Sorry, Y/N. I’m sure I’ll be on your side next time.”

“Yeah, right,” she laughed.

“Is that all you needed?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Ty.”

“No problem.”

“Wait!” she said suddenly.

“Yeah?”

“The weather tomorrow is supposed to be really nice, and I was wondering if you wanted to go stargazing at our favorite spot? There shouldn’t be that many clouds and you know there’s no light pollution up there, so I think we’ll be able to see a lot of stuff.”

“Yeah, that would be super fun.”

“Awesome. I think we can borrow my brother’s truck too. Right, Car?”

I couldn’t hear Carter’s answer over the phone, but based on Y/N’s response, it seemed like he had confirmed what she said.

“Make sure to bring blankets!”

“Will do.”

“Ok, I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

I hung up the call and set my phone on the counter so that I could finish getting ready, unable to keep the smile off my face.

* * *

“Good afternoon,” Josh announced as he walked into the practice space.

“Hey,” I answered from my spot behind the piano. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been ok. It feels like forever since we were last practicing.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve been busy.”

“And by busy do you mean hanging out with Y/N every day?”

“We have big stuff coming up soon! I want to spend time with her before we end up getting super busy.”

“Nothing is set in stone yet, Tyler.”

“You’re right. We need to get more work done on this album before that happens.”

“Exactly.”

Josh finally set his bag down against the wall and got himself adjusted behind his drums. There was a ton of work to be done today and not much time to do it.

“Have you come up with anything new since last practice?” he asked.

“A few things here and there, but nothing solid. We can take a look at it today and see if you have any suggestions about what to add. I’m open to anything, at this point.”

“Are we getting close to filling an entire album?”

“I think so, if we end up reworking the older songs.”

“Awesome.”

“Yeah.”

“So, start from the top?” Josh asked, giving his drums a light tap.

“Let’s do it.”

* * *

“Alright, I need a break,” Josh said, grabbing a nearby towel and wiping his forehead down with it.

“Agreed.”

I got up and grabbed my water bottle from my backpack, chugging about half the bottle in one go. My throat was dry from singing and I could tell that my vocal cords were starting to get tired, so a break would be good for the both of us.

“So, you and Y/N went to the beach yesterday, right?”

I smiled, “Yeah, it was super fun.”

“What did you do?”

“We walked around town for awhile once we got there, until Y/N decided that she wanted to go in the water. I just hung out on the beach while she did that, but then she convinced me to join her so I did. Um, and then we got pizza and ate it on the beach next to a fire that I built and I played some of the new songs for her. Oh, and I had to carry her around for a bit because her shoe broke.”

Josh’s eyebrows were raised, “Sounds like a pretty nice date.”

“It wasn’t a date,” I snapped back, probably too quickly.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes, we were just hanging out.”

“Tyler, man, you carried her around.”

“Her shoe broke!” I huffed. “She’s just my best friend, ok? I didn’t want to make her walk around the pavement because there could have been broken glass or something and we’re comfortable enough with one another to do things like that.”

“Yeah?”

I cast my eyes down towards the floor as I continued to speak, “She’s just like - I don’t know how to describe it. I never have to worry about anything when I’m with her, you know? She knows how to make me laugh even at the dumbest things. I don’t think I could ever get tired of being around her. She’s just-”

Too good for you.

“Sorry, I’m rambling. I’ll shut up,” I mumbled.

“And you’re  _ sure _ that you don’t have feelings for her?”

“Yes.” 

Stop lying, Tyler.

“Well. Um, actually no.”

“So you do like her?”

I rubbed my nose, “Yes.”

“Why are you blushing, man?” Josh laughed. “That’s awesome!”

“Sorry, it’s just - that’s the first time that I’ve ever said that out loud.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Not yet.”

“Why not? Doesn’t she have feelings for you?”

“Um, yeah. But it’s complicated,” I said, reaching up to rub at the back of my neck.

Josh nodded, “That’s cool. You have to do what’s right for you.”

“Yeah.”

I took another long drink of water, tossed it down next to my stuff, and sat back down behind my piano. Josh remained where he was sitting against the wall, eating some crackers that he had brought with him.

“What about you, Josh? What’s been going on with you?” I asked, hoping to get the conversation off of me for awhile.

He shrugged, “Not much, really.”

“There has to be something.”

“Not really. Still single. The band is my primary focus. I see my family every now and again. Things are pretty straightforward.”

I nodded, “That’s cool.”

“I guess. I’m hoping the band stuff starts to pick up soon, that way we can actually start traveling and playing outside of Ohio.”

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to being able to do that. It won’t be long now, with all the music we have in the works.”

“For sure. Speaking of which, have you come up with a title for that song yet?” Josh asked.

“Which one?”

“You know-” Josh paused upon realizing that he didn’t have anything to call said unnamed song. Instead, he decided to make his best attempt at singing one of the verses, “The sun will rise and we will try again.”

“Oh, right,” I said, playing the correct melody on the piano. “No, not yet. I was going to ask Y/N since she was the one that made me keep that lyric in the first place, but I forgot.”

“Well, I - um - had a few ideas.”

“Sure, let’s hear them.”

“Sunrise.”

I shook my head, “It doesn’t feel right.”

“That’s ok, that’s not my best suggestion.”

“What else you got?”

“White Flag.”

“What?”

“You know, like you’re kinda giving in for now. A surrender. A white flag.”

“Still not right,” I shook my head again.

“Ok, this is my last suggestion.”

“Ok.”

“But I think it’s my best one.”

I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Truce.”

“Truce,” I repeated, then slowly began to nod. “Yeah, I think that’s it.”

“You like it?”

“Definitely. It fits the song, but it isn’t obvious.”

“And I think it should be the last song on the album.”

“Agreed.”

“Speaking of Truce,” Josh smiled. “We should get through the second half of the songs.”

“Let’s do it.”

Y/N was on my mind as we played the rest of the songs. It felt weird to finally have my feelings out in the open after so many years of keeping it to myself. I had expected it to feel bad when I finally told someone, but instead I felt good. Really good.

Hopeful, even.

* * *

“Hey, hey, hold the music,” Josh said, holding a hand out towards me.

“What? Why?”

Josh didn’t answer. He was busy frantically pulling his phone out of his pocket and reading over the number.

“I have to take this.”

Oh.  _ Oh _ .

“Hello?” was all I heard before the door closed behind him and the conversation became muffled. My hands were already shaking from nerves, despite the fact that I wasn’t even the one on the phone. To distract myself, I began to play some notes on the piano.

Josh walked back into the room a few minutes later, his phone still in hand. His lips were pursed as he turned to look at me. I simply raised an eyebrow at him, and his mouth curled up into the biggest smile I had ever seen. He took a deep breath before speaking.

“We got it.”


	15. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2024
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

You let out a little squeal as you hit a bump in the tiny parking lot. Tyler began to laugh, but you simply shot him a look as you reversed into a parking space and shut the car off. Driving Carter’s truck never failed to scare you, especially when you had to drive it up a huge hill in the dark. You would never hear the end of it if you somehow managed to get a scratch on it.

“We’re here,” you announced.

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.”

You rolled your eyes as you grabbed the blankets you had brought from the backseat. The night was clear, but that didn’t mean that it was warm. Your sweatshirt and sweatpants were already proving to be not warm enough for the cool night air.

“God, it’s freezing,” Tyler groaned from the other side of the car.

“If you would move a little faster, we could be under these blankets right now,” you answered as you threw some blankets into the bed of the truck.

While Tyler finished gathering up the rest of the blankets, you hopped into the back and began to lay out some of the thicker blankets so that it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable to lay down. A few stars were already beginning to appear in the sky, and you were looking forward to the moment when you were buried in blankets next to Tyler, looking up at all of it.

“Ok, that’s all of them,” Tyler announced as he threw a couple more blankets into the back.

You held a hand out to Tyler and helped him climb into the back of the truck. He immediately fell back into the huge pile of blankets that had formed, letting out a content sigh as he did so. After a moment of relaxation, his eyes shot open.

“The drinks are still in the front seat,” he mumbled.

“Don’t worry, I’ll grab them,” you said. One of your legs was already halfway out of the truck bed.

You hopped down onto the dirt and half-jogged over to the passenger side of the car. Sure enough, the cooler of drinks that the two of you had brought was half tucked under the chair. It was heavier than you had expected, but you still managed to sling it over your shoulder and get it in the back.

“Thanks,” Tyler said as you dumped the cooler next to him.

“No problem.”

While you were busy getting the drinks, Tyler had taken it upon himself to nicely lay out all the blankets for the two of you, complete with makeshift blanket pillows at the perfect angle for stargazing.

“Thanks for doing that,” you smiled as you crawled under one of the blankets.

“It was no problem.”

Tyler carefully slid under the blanket next to you and pulled it up around his neck so that only his head was popping out. You opted for staying sitting upright and enjoying a drink for now.

“There’s not many stars yet,” Tyler frowned.

“It isn’t late yet.”

“Yeah, but I’m impatient.”

You sighed and shook your head, but your mouth still curled up into a smile as you took a long sip of your drink. It was freezing cold from being in the cooler, but the blankets kept you from shivering too much.

“Are you going to lay down?” Tyler asked.

“Later. I’m enjoying this drink right now, and if I try to have it while laying down I’ll end up with a soaked sweatshirt.”

“Good point.”

Tyler lifted his hips for a moment and a moment later his hand popped out from under the blanket, holding his phone. The light from the screen illuminated his face, revealing his furrowed eyebrows as he scrolled through it. You leaned down to see what he was looking at. As you should have expected, it was music.

“I thought some background music would be nice,” he grinned, turning to look at you for a moment.

“Definitely.”

He scrolled through his phone for a bit longer until soft music began to play. It was much different than what the two of you usually listened to together, but it fit the vibe of the night.

“Oh hey, I have some news for you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Josh came up with a name for the song that you helped me write.”

“He did?” you grinned. “What is it?”

“Truce.”

You took a moment to run over the song in your head, finding all the little connections between the lyrics and the song’s new title. After a moment, you nodded.

“It’s perfect.”

“I thought you might like it,” he smiled.

You looked out towards the lights of Columbus down below you. Your mind was already beginning to fill with thoughts about the future, as it always seemed to do when the world around you got too quiet.

“Can you pass me a drink?” Tyler asked.

“Sure, what do you want?”

“Red Bull.”

You opened the cooler and dug around a bit until you found a can of Red Bull buried at the bottom. After shaking off a bit of the ice, you tossed it to Tyler, who caught it gracefully.

“Good to know I still have some of my basketball skills,” he laughed as he popped the can open.

“Tyler, you’re not going to-,” you started to say, but it was too late.

The contents of the can spilled directly onto Tyler’s partly open mouth and dribbled down the sides of his face onto the blanket - which just so happened to be one of your mom’s favorites. Tyler immediately sat up in shock and wiped at his face with the back of his arm.

“Tyler,” you groaned. “What made you think that was a good idea?”

“I thought I would be able to expertly pour it in my mouth, but it started spilling out before I thought it would,” he grinned, obviously amused.

“That’s one of my mom’s favorite blankets!” you sighed.

“I’ll grab some napkins.”

Tyler hopped out of the truck bed and opened up the passenger door to get some napkins from the glovebox. Meanwhile, you grabbed the water from the cooler and began to pour some onto the would-be stain.

“I can’t believe you did that,” you said as you snatched the napkins from his hand.

Tyler helped you dab at the spot with one hand while cleaning up his face a bit more with the other.

“I really thought it would work!”

“How old are you?” you laughed.

“Twenty one.”

“Exactly.”

Even though you were a little upset with Tyler, you couldn’t help but laugh at how stupid the entire thing was. Maybe your mom would get a kick out of the story too, despite the fact that her blanket might end up with giant Red Bull spot.

“You get to lay on the wet side,” you said as you crawled under the clean, dry blankets.

“That’s a fair punishment.”

Tyler crawled under his blankets, making a face as he adjusted himself on the wet spot, and got comfortable. You had to admit, he had done a great job of making you makeshift pillows. Up ahead, stars were finally beginning to appear in the sky.

It was going to be a good night.

* * *

You shifted under the blanket a little and reached over to rub your forearm. The stars above you were now shining brightly, filling you with a sense of peace. Even still, your mind couldn’t seem to stop thinking itself in circles.

“Hey, Ty,” you said softly.

“Hmm?”

“Do you ever think about life?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know - like - the future. What you’re going to do and if you’ll get married and where you want to live. That sort of thing.”

Tyler pulled his blanket a little tighter around him, “It comes up from time to time. Usually I try not to think about it because it ends up stressing me out.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I usually try not to either, but tonight I can’t seem to get it off my mind.”

“Why do you think that is?”

You shrugged, “I always find it hard not to get existential when I’m looking at space.”

Tyler laughed quietly, “Me too.”

The music was still playing softly in between the two of you, keeping the silence from getting too awkward. Normally silence wasn’t an issue with you and Tyler, but tonight seemed different. The silence was giving you too much room to think.

“Can I ask you something else?” you asked. Your heart rate was already picking up.

“Sure.”

“It’s kind of a dorky question.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Do you think we’re always going to be in each other’s lives?” You had already pulled your lip between your teeth and began to chew on it.

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know,” you laughed nervously. “I guess I’m just worried with you doing music and, um, like if you get super famous and are traveling all the time while I’m stuck here working…” you trailed off, realizing how stupid this all sounded.

You glanced at Tyler out of the corner of your eye, but he was already looking at you. His eyebrows were furrowed slightly, although it wasn’t out of confusion. You shifted a little so that you could look at him without craning your neck so much.

“Y/N, I promise you right now that no matter how famous I get or where I go or who I meet, you’re always going to be the most important person in my life. If the choice was between you or music, I would choose you every time.”

“You mean that?”

“One hundred percent.”

Tyler smiled and stuck a hand out from beneath the blanket with one pinky extended. You laughed a little as you linked your pinky with his. Sometimes you wondered how the two of you were both adults.

You tucked your hand back under the blanket and turned to look up at the stars. There was a satellite moving through the sky, almost flawlessly blending in among the thousands of stars. It was so calm out here on the edge of town. If you had the opportunity, you would stay out all night just staring at the stars.

“Thanks for inviting me out here, Y/N,” Tyler said quietly, once again breaking the silence.

“Thanks for coming with me. It’s been nice to spend this time with you.”

“I like spending time with you.”

You took a deep breath to try and get rid of the knot that had formed in your stomach. Tyler’s words didn’t hold any deeper meaning - you had taught yourself that a long time ago. He was your best friend, and best friends liked spending time together.

You were busy trying to work out a constellation when something bumped into your thigh. Figuring you had accidentally gotten too close to Tyler without realizing it, you shifted to the side a little to give him some space.

But then it bumped into your wrist.

And then his fingers brushed against yours.

You swallowed hard and turned your palm slightly, giving him silent permission. His hand slid against yours and his fingers curled around the edge of your palm. Your lips were pressed so tightly together to keep from smiling that it almost hurt. Tyler’s hand was a little clammy, but it was holding yours and for now that was all that mattered.

You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye again, expecting him to be looking at you. Instead, he was still staring up at the sky as if nothing was happening. Obviously this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about, so you turned back up towards the sky and went back to seeking out the constellation you had been trying to find.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little confused, but you didn’t want to risk ruining the moment by asking another stupid question. Tyler had made it clear to you many times before how he felt and this was no different. The two of you were, and always would be, friends.

Just friends.


	16. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2061
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

“Eggs, I need eggs,” Y/N muttered to herself as she wandered towards the fridge.

Once again, Y/N and I were hanging out and enjoying the carefree days of her spring break. Today’s activity was making a batch of cookies so that Y/N could surprise her parents when they got home from work. She had wanted to surprise Carter too, but he had the day off.

“Ty,” she called. “I need help.”

I looked up from my phone, “With what?”

“Carter stuffed the eggs way back on the top shelf of the fridge and I can’t reach them. Can you get them?”

“Sure thing.”

I hopped down from the stool and walked over to where Y/N was standing in front of the fridge. She rested one hand lightly on my arm as I reached up to grab the eggs, sending tingles straight down to my fingertips.

“Here you go,” I said as I passed the carton to her.

“Thank you!” she beamed as she carried them back over to the counter.

I hopped back into the stool that I had been sitting on and watched as Y/N attempted to crack the eggs into the bowl. She kept dropping bits of shell into the mixture and had to fish them out with her fingers.

“I know how to make cookies. I promise,” she smiled up at me.

“Do you want some help with the eggs?”

“Please.”

“Ok, watch this.”

I grabbed an egg from the carton and expertly cracked it straight into the bowl with one hand, no shell included. Y/N shot me a look as she closed the egg carton.

“Show off.”

“You asked for my help!”

“Yes, your help. Not an entire egg-cracking performance.”

“Your welcome.”

“Thanks,” she laughed.

I tapped my knuckles against the countertop as Y/N mixed all the ingredients in the bowl. It was finally starting to look somewhat like cookie dough, although it was still far from finished.

“Can I try some?” I asked, leaning over the bowl.

“If you want to risk getting sick from the raw eggs, then be my guest.”

I stuck a finger in the bowl and scooped up some of the dough. Y/N watched me with raised eyebrows as I sucked the last bit off my finger.

“How is it?” she asked.

“Good. Really good, actually. Wow.”

Y/N seemed happy with that answer, considering how widely she was smiling.

“Thanks, Ty.”

“No problem. I might have to take some of the cookies home. To Josh, even.”

“I’m fine with that.”

Y/N started to move around the kitchen to grab more ingredients, so I sat down at the counter to stay out of her way. She looked so focused as she carefully measured out the last few ingredients and dumped them into the bowl, making sure not to make too much of a mess on the counter.

“Almost done,” she smiled proudly as she set the bag of flour next to the bowl.

After staying out of Y/N’s way for most of the afternoon, I decided that it was long past time that I mess with her. As casually as I could, I got out of my chair and walked over to where she was carefully mixing the flour into the bowl. I stuck a finger into the bag and made sure that it was coated in flour before booping her straight on the nose.

“Tyler,” she muttered, looking straight at me. “Tell me you did not just do what I think you did.”

It was impossible to take her seriously when her nose was covered in flour. My laughter gave me away immediately, and Y/N was quick to retaliate. In an instant, my cheek was covered in flour as well.

“Hey!” I laughed as I ran around the counter from her.

“You started this!” she giggled as she grabbed for my arm.

I ducked out of the way, quickly coated my hand in flour, and managed to get a near perfect handprint on the side of her dark shirt.

“Ty!” she squealed. “I like this shirt!”

“Flour washes out!”

That was the wrong thing to say, because within seconds I had my own handprint on my shoulder.

“Flour washes out,” Y/N smirked.

I sighed and held a hand out, “Even?”

She put her flour-covered hand in mine and gave it a firm shake, “Even.”

While Y/N went back to finishing the cookies, I washed my hands off and dusted some of the extra flour off my shirt. The counter was now thoroughly coated in flour and a few other ingredients that Y/N had spilled during the process of baking.

“I think I can start cooking these,” she announced as she gave the dough a couple more good stirs.

“Can I have a final taste?”

“Go for it.”

This time, Y/N offered me a spoon to taste the dough with. I took a giant scoop - which earned me a disapproving look from Y/N - and tasted it. It was definitely one of the best batches of cookies that Y/N had ever made.

“Still amazing,” I smiled.

Y/N grabbed her own small scoop of cookie dough and popped it into her mouth. After a moment, she nodded.

“Agreed.”

I idly danced around the kitchen while I waited for Y/N to finish putting the first batch on a baking sheet and stick them in the oven. As soon as she was done with that, we could finish watching the video that we had started on her laptop.

“Ok, we have eight minutes to kill,” she said as she shut the oven.

“Video?” I asked, gesturing over my shoulder.

“For sure.”

We took a seat at the dining room table in front of her computer. I made sure to sit close enough to her that I had an excuse to brush my arm against hers every now and again. She tried to hide it, but I could see the smile on her face every time I did it.

About seven minutes into the video, Y/N hit pause and stood up.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’m just going to check on the cookies to make sure they’re cooking right.”

I tapped my fingers along the edge of the table while I waited, but I was soon distracted by my phone buzzing in my pocket. Since I had been waiting on news all day, I pulled it out and read it instantly.

**_Josh:_ ** _ Just got the call. It’s official :) _

“No way,” I mumbled quietly, unable to keep myself from smiling.

Y/N noticed my smile as she was walking back towards the table.

“What’s got you so happy?” she asked.

I turned to her, “Josh and I got signed to a label.”

She stopped dead in her tracks and threw a hand over her mouth. “For real?” she mumbled from between her fingers.

I nodded and stood up. Y/N rushed over and threw her arms around me, burying her head into my shoulder. She was hugging me so tightly that I almost couldn’t breathe. It took me a second to remember to hug her back, I was still so in shock.

“I’m so proud of you, Tyler. A label!”

She stepped away from me, but I kept my hands tightly on her waist. Her hands were resting on both of my shoulders.

“My best friend, signed to a major music label,” she grinned. “Which one is it?”

“Fueled By Ramen.”

“Tyler! That’s awesome!”

“We did the paperwork yesterday, but I just got the text from Josh that everything is official. We’re really working under a label now.”

“I’m so proud, Ty. I knew this would all work out for you.”

I could tell she was proud just by the way that she was looking at me. Her smile was almost as big as mine.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Y/N.”

She looked so pretty as she smiled up at me. I could have sworn that Y/N had the prettiest smile to ever exist. It felt so natural to hold her in my arms, like this was where I was always meant to be. I couldn’t stop staring at her.

I could just tell her right now. 

The words were right on the tip of my tongue.

_ I love you. _

The oven started beeping, drawing Y/N’s attention away. Her hand dropped away from my shoulders in an instant.

“I need to get those,” she said.

I let go of her waist so that she could get the cookies out of the oven.

So much for that opportunity.

“I think these are done!”

She set the baking sheet on top of the oven and turned back to me, still wearing that same huge grin on her face. The entire kitchen smelled like fresh cookies now, although my mind was still focused on other things.

Why hadn’t I just said it?

“A record label, wow,” Y/N sighed. “I still can’t believe it.”

“There are big things coming.”

“I’m so excited for you, Ty! This is huge!”

“I know.”

Our conversation was yet again interrupted by Carter arriving in the kitchen. He was looking at his phone, so he hadn’t quite noticed the absolute mess that Y/N and I had made.

“Hey, what’s all the yelling about down- woah, what the hell did you two do?”

“Made cookies!” Y/N grinned.

“So how did you two end up covered in flour?” he raised an eyebrow at us.

“Tyler started it.”

Carter turned to me and I simply raised my hands up in defeat. There was no point in starting an argument that I couldn’t win.

“Just make sure to clean it up before Mom and Dad get home.”

Y/N mocked her brother while his attention was on his phone. I tried to conceal my laughter, but didn’t do a very good job of it.

“Hey, Car. You’ll never believe what Tyler did,” Y/N said.

“You mean besides make a mess of our kitchen?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Yes, besides that.”

“What?”

“He got signed to Fueled By Ramen.”

Carter turned to me with wide eyes, “Like  _ the _ Fueled By Ramen?”

I nodded, “Yeah, we got the confirmation today.”

“That’s awesome, Joseph! Congrats!”

Carter pulled me into a hug, which was a bit awkward considering I never really saw him show affection towards anyone but his family. Regardless, it was a nice gesture.

“Thanks, man,” I smiled.

Y/N started to put the cooled cookies onto a tray and make up the next batch of cookies. I simply sat back down at the counter and watched from a distance.

“You’ll never believe who I just talked to on the phone,” Carter said.

“Who?” Y/N asked.

“Marenna.”

“Marenna?” she gasped.

Marenna. The name sounded familiar.

“Who’s Marenna?” I chimed in.

“Carter’s ex.”

“Oh.”

“She just called you?”

“Yeah,” Carter answered.

“And?”

“And what?”

“What did you talk about? Are you together? Give us some information, Car!”

“Well, I’m meeting her for coffee tomorrow morning.”

“Carter!” Y/N yelled, slamming her hands down on the counter. “You should have lead with that!”

“Geez, Y/N,” he laughed. “Sorry.”

“This is your chance to win her back!”

Carter shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“I think I’m with Y/N on this one,” I added.

They both turned to look at me with confused expressions.

“You hardly even know what we’re talking about,” Y/N laughed.

“Yeah, but if you’re this worked up over it, then I feel like it’s important that the two of them get back together.”

Y/N pointed to me as she turned to Carter, “Exactly.”

Carter shook his head, “We can talk more about this later, Y/N. I don’t want to intrude on your time together.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“Deal.”

Carter disappeared back upstairs, leaving just Y/N and I once again. She was smiling to herself as she idly mixed up the cookie dough.

“I’m so happy for both of you,” she smiled. “First you getting signed and now Carter getting back with the girl he’s been sad about for months. When is something good going to happen to me?”

“Really soon, I bet.”

She looked up at me, “You think so?”

“I know so.”


	17. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2161
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this,” Carter muttered as he shut the car off.

“Car! We’re here to celebrate Tyler and Josh getting signed.”

“Who is Josh?”

“His bandmate!”

“Oh.”

You shook your head as you climbed out of the car onto the pavement. Tyler’s parents had decided to throw a party for the boys to celebrate them getting signed to a big label and you had decided to drag Carter along to both get him out of the house and as emotional support. It had been awhile since you had seen most of the people that would be at the party.

“Wait, Car,” you said as you walked up the driveway.

“What now?”

“Your sleeves are uneven.”

Carter simply rolled his eyes as you adjusted the sleeves on his flannel. You had no idea how many people the Josephs had ended up inviting, so you wanted to be sure that you were ready to make a good impression should the occasion arise.

“Am I good now?”

“Yes.”

There was a sign on the door that read “Come In”. With one final look to Carter, you opened the door and were immediately met with the hum of conversation. The living room was near-packed with people that you hardly recognized. Your eyes widened at the mere sight of it.

“You’re ok,” Carter said upon noticing your distress. He rested one hand on your back as the two of you walked further into the house.

“Y/N!” Kelly called.

“Mrs. Joseph!” you smiled.

Kelly walked up to you and pulled you into a hug before holding you at arm’s length, “I feel like I hardly see you since Tyler moved out! Don’t you look gorgeous tonight!”

“Thank you.”

“And who is this?”

“This is my brother, Carter. I dragged him along with me,” you laughed.

“Nice to meet you.”

“And you,” Carter said as he shook her hand.

“I would tell Tyler you’re here, but I haven’t seen him in awhile,” she smiled. “I’m sure he’ll show up eventually.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Joseph!”

Kelly walked off to rejoin some of the ladies that she had previously been talking to. 

“I know where he is,” you muttered.

“Where?”

“I’ll tell you later. Let’s get drinks.”

You led Carter to the kitchen and grabbed some drinks from the counter. Dozens of different snack foods were laid out along the counter, probably Maddy’s doing. Tyler’s sister had always been a fan of planning parties.

“There’s a lot of people,” Carter said as he cracked open a beer.

“Yeah, more than I expected,” you answered as you took a look around.

Across the room, you spotted a familiar dark-haired boy that you recognized as Josh from pictures Tyler had shown you. You wanted to talk to him and finally introduce yourself formally, but figured tonight wasn’t exactly ideal. Now that the boys would be spending more time together to work under their label, you figured there would be plenty of time to get to know him later.

“I’m going to go find Tyler,” you said.

“What? You’re just leaving me here?”

“Make some friends!”

You grabbed a Red Bull from the fridge, flashed Carter a smile, and then disappeared down the hall away from people. After a quick glance to make sure that nobody was looking at you, you sped up the stairs and down to the third door on the left.

“I hope you’re decent,” you said before opening the door.

As you had expected, Tyler was laying on his childhood bed and staring up at the ceiling. He sat up a little once he heard the door open.

“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” he laughed.

“Your mom mentioned that she hadn’t seen you in awhile and that was all the information I needed.”

You passed him the Red Bull that you had brought before plopping down on the bed next to him. He cracked open the can and took a small sip.

“Thanks,” he sighed.

“What did it this time?”

“Too many people,” he shook his head. “I tried to tell my mom that I didn’t want to have a huge party - just family and friends would be fine - but she insisted that we invite everyone who was even  _ aware _ that I’m a musician. It only took twenty minutes of socialization before I had to get out of there.”

“I’m here now though, Ty. You’ll be fine.”

He turned to you and smiled, “Yeah, I will.”

You stood up and held a hand out to him, “Come on.”

“Can’t we stay up here for five more minutes?”

“No. Your mom threw you a nice party and we’re going to enjoy it.”

Tyler groaned and slapped his free hand down in yours. You pulled him up off the bed into a standing position, but you didn’t let go of his hand quite yet.

“Ready?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I guess.”

You squeezed his hand before letting it go. His arm dropped to his side for a moment before he reached up to run a hand through his hair. It was starting to get long again.

“You could use a haircut,” you said as you pulled open his bedroom door.

“Yeah, I should just shave it all off.”

Your nose scrunched at the thought of Tyler with a buzzcut, “Definitely not.”

Tyler followed you down the stairs and back towards the crowd of people. You decided it would probably be a good idea to go find Carter since you had ditched him to go see Tyler, but when you found him he was happily talking with one of his old high school friends. He caught your eye and flashed you a quick thumbs up, letting you know that he would be fine.

“Now what?” you asked, turning to Tyler.

He shrugged, “I don’t really know.”

A few people walked by and gave Tyler congratulatory pats on the shoulder, to which he simply smiled and gave them a quick thanks. It seemed like everyone else was busy with their own conversations, leaving you and Tyler with nowhere to go.

“Hey, why don’t I finally introduce you to Josh?”

You turned to him with furrowed eyebrows, “Now?”

“Why not?”

“There’s a lot of people.”

Tyler grabbed onto your hand yet again. Apparently this was a new thing between the two of you.

“It will be fine.”

He began to lead you through the crowd of people towards where he had obviously spotted Josh. You simply muttered quick apologies to people you didn’t recognize as you brushed past them in an attempt to keep up with Tyler. He eventually came to a sudden stop at the far side of the room, causing you to nearly crash into him.

“Woah, Ty,” you said, already feeling the nerves begin to bubble up.

He pulled you a little closer so that you were standing at his side. Josh was a few feet in front of you, currently wrapped up in a conversation with one of the many other partygoers. You suddenly became very conscious of the bewildered expression on your face from practically being dragged across the house.

Tyler cleared his throat just enough that it caught Josh’s attention without interrupting him. He turned towards the two of you and gave a slight nod before returning to his conversation. You took the time to think of what you wanted to say when you actually got a chance to talk to him.

Josh eventually ended his conversation and turned to you and Tyler. His face immediately grew into a smile as he closed the space between you.

“Josh, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Josh,” Tyler said.

“Nice to meet you.” Josh held out a hand towards you.

You pulled your hand away from Tyler’s grip - you hadn’t fully realized that you had still been holding his hand - so that you could properly shake Josh’s hand.

“You too. Tyler has told me many stories.”

“All good, I hope?”

“Ugh,” Tyler groaned, interrupting your exchange. “You two sound like adults.”

“That’s because we are,” you smiled, giving him a light elbow in the ribs.

“Hardly,” he scoffed.

You shot a look at Josh, who seemed amused by your mock annoyance with Tyler. It put a smile on your face.

“So, Y/N, you’re in college, right?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, I am! Currently working towards a major in psychology, but who knows when that will change.”

“Can’t say I envy you,” he smiled before taking a sip of his drink.

“Most people don’t.”

“Hey, Josh!” someone called.

Josh turned towards the source of the noise for a moment and waved at the person who had called out to him.

“That’s my cue,” he said, gesturing in their direction. “Lots of people to talk to.”

“I’m glad we got a chance to finally talk.”

“Me too. I hope to see you at some future shows,” he said, flashing you a quick wink before walking off towards his other friends.

You turned to Tyler, who seemed a little less than pleased. His expression softened when he realized that you were looking at him.

“He seems really nice, Ty. A good guy to be in a band with, for sure.”

“Definitely,” he answered, clenching his jaw for a brief moment.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed is all.”

“Come on, why don’t we go find Maddy?”

You didn’t have to look long before Maddy came running towards you and threw her arms around you, nearly knocking you over in the process.

“Y/N!” she squealed. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I know!” you answered as you hugged her back just as tightly. “I’m not over here as often as you should be.”

She stepped back and shot a look at her older brother, “Because  _ he _ decided he wanted to move out.”

“I’m twenty one,” Tyler laughed. “I can’t live at home forever.”

“Yes you can! Especially if it means that Y/N gets to come over more often.”

“We should come over here for dinner more often, Ty,” you said, turning to him.

“Really?”

“Sure, why not? I like your family.”

“See?” Maddy said, pointing a finger to you as she stared at Tyler. “You two need to come over here more often.”

Tyler laughed and pulled Maddy into his side, “I’ll start bringing Y/N around more often.”

“Good, now if you excuse me, I have to get back to my friends.”

Maddy disappeared back into the crowd, once again just leaving you and Tyler. His attention was being pulled in a million different directions, it seemed, as people called his name or beckoned him over. You lightly rested a hand on his back.

“I’m here, Ty.”

“Don’t leave.”

* * *

You ended up sticking with Tyler for the rest of the night as he bounced around the room, talking to people. Occasionally you would stop and chat with someone you knew from high school or check in on Carter, but Tyler was your primary focus. He was getting easily overwhelmed, so you deemed it your job to keep him calm and collected.

It had started raining by the time that you and Carter were starting to head out. The two of you were some of the last people left at the party.

“Thanks for coming, you two!” Kelly smiled as she walked you to the door.

“It was my pleasure. I still can’t believe Tyler is signed to a label now,” you smiled.

“I know! My baby is growing up.”

Behind her, Tyler rolled his eyes and made a face. You bit down on your lip so that you wouldn’t start laughing in front of his mom.

“Thanks for sticking with me, Y/N. It helped a lot,” he said as he pulled you into a hug.

“It was no problem. Congrats again, Ty. I’m so proud of you.”

You squeezed him tightly before pulling away and stepping out the front door. Carter was a little ways down the path, waiting for you to finish with your goodbyes.

“Drive safe!” Kelly called before closing the door.

You picked up your pace to catch up with Carter as he began to walk towards the car. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his side.

“Did you have a good night, Y/N?”

“I did. Thanks for coming with me, Car.”

“Of course, although I am forcing you to come with me to pick up food on the way home.”

“We’re getting food?” you grinned.

“Damn it, I thought you would be mad about that.”

“How could I ever be mad about a delicious snack?”

Carter sighed and jokingly pushed you away from him. You laughed as you stumbled a bit before regaining your balance and walking around to the passenger side of the car.

After a night like tonight, there was no way you could keep a smile off your face.


	18. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 1854
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

“And done,” Y/N smiled as she threw the last strawberry into the bowl. “Now what?”

“Do you want to go sit outside?”

My hands were already shaking.

Y/N walked over to the window and looked out it. “It looks like it’s going to start raining. We should probably stay in here.”

“Your room then?”

I didn’t really care where we sat. She just needed to know. Soon.

“Sure.”

Y/N bobbed her head as she slowly made her way down the hallway towards the stairs. I followed close behind, already nervously picking at a hangnail on my thumb.

“Where’s Carter?” I asked.

“On his coffee date with Marenna.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait until he gets back and tells me all about it. He hasn’t been quite the same since they broke up, so I really hope that they get back together.”

“That would be cool.”

Y/N turned to me as we walked into her room, “Are you feeling ok, Ty? You’ve been weird all morning.”

“Nervous.”

She took a seat on the edge of her bed and gestured for me to sit next to her. Once I was settled, she pulled her legs up under her so that she could sit cross-legged.

“What are you nervous about?”

“I just have something really important to tell you.”

Her eyebrows lifted slightly, “You do?”

“Yeah, but it can wait. I don’t want to make things weird.”

She shifted. “Ok.”

Why couldn’t I just tell her now?

“So, um, what now?”

I shrugged, “I’m not sure.”

Y/N grabbed a grape from the bowl and popped it into her mouth. I reached over and tried to grab one, but she swatted my hand away.

“You told me you didn’t want any fruit!” she laughed.

“Then I saw your fruit and changed my mind,” I said, already reaching for it again.

She sighed and held the bowl out towards me, allowing me the choice of whatever fruit I wanted. I grabbed a nice strawberry and a couple grapes.

“Tyler!” she groaned.

“What did I do now?”

“Stole the strawberry that I was looking forward to!”

The way she said that made me smile. It was the first genuine smile that had been on my face all day.

“Should have moved faster.”

“Ty- _ ler! _ ” she said, drawing out the end.

I took a bite out of half of the strawberry before holding it out towards her, “Still want it?”

She contemplated it for a moment, started to reach for it, and then stopped suddenly.

“Nope, I can’t. I thought I would be able to eat it, but…” Her nose scrunched up. “I can’t.”

My smile faltered once again as I thought about the confession I had to make. My stomach was twisting in discomfort, and I was beginning to think that I should just tell her now to get rid of all the nerves. 

“Ty?”

“Huh?”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Um, yeah.”

“You were staring at the ground for awhile there.”

“Was I?”

I reached over to grab another piece of fruit, but my hand hit the bottom of the bowl. Maybe I  _ had _ been spaced out longer than I thought.

“Yes,” she answered. Her mouth curled up into the slightest hint of a smile. “Do you want to talk about what’s going on?”

I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, twisting a couple strands around my index finger. That haircut was still badly needed.

“Um, yeah. Yeah, let’s talk about it.”

Y/N leaned over me for a moment so that she could set her empty bowl on the bedside table. I inhaled sharply when her arm brushed against mine, but hoped she didn’t notice. Not that it would matter much longer, anyway.

“What’s up?” Y/N asked, folding her hands in her lap as she did so.

I took a moment to just look at her face. Her expression was blank, although I could tell by the way that she was looking at me that she was worried. She had never been very good at hiding that.

It took me a moment to actually get any words out of my mouth. My brain was too busy trying to think of the right way to tell her. Eventually, it settled on simply blurting it all out.

“I’m leaving.”

She blinked a couple times, face falling as she did so. Her eyes were looking everywhere but at mine.

“What do you mean?”

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and began to chew on it.

“Our label wants us to do a tour before we release the next album. We leave next week.”

She swallowed, “How long will you be gone?”

“Three months.”

“Three months?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Y/N grabbed her bowl from the table and disappeared, shutting the door behind her. She still hadn’t looked at me. Maybe telling her now hadn’t been such a good idea. The nerves had just been replaced by a different kind of discomfort.

She came back upstairs a few minutes later. I could tell that she had been crying, although she tried to hide it. There was nothing I wanted more than to reach out and hug her, but it felt… wrong.

“We should do something. You know, before you leave.”

“Like what?”

She took a deep breath, “Like, um, you know… we can make it like a movie. Our last hurrah before you’re gone for three months.”

Three months. I didn’t like the way it sounded when she said it.

“Yeah. Like a movie,” I repeated.

Y/N paused for a moment. She still wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“You really leave in a week, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“When did you find out?”

“Just a few days ago. Right after we got signed.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

She shook her head, “You told me at the right time.”

“Are you sure?”

Another pause. “Yes.”

Y/N finally met my eyes and forced a smile. I know she was trying to reassure me, but I could tell that it was hard for her not to cry. Well, cry more than she already had.

It was the same way I was feeling right now.

* * *

“I told her,” I said as I scooped some pasta into a bowl.

“Told her what?” Josh asked from the other side of the counter.

“That we’re leaving.”

“How did she take it?”

I shrugged, “About as well as you’d expect.”

“How are  _ you _ taking it?”

“Bad.”

I grabbed a fork and carried my lunch into the living room. Josh followed after me, carrying his own food. We sat down on the couch. He turned on the TV, but it wasn’t really for anything except background noise.

“Bad?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure this whole situation isn’t as bad as you think.”

“You didn’t see the look on her face, Josh.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself.

“Just think about it: Y/N is my support system and vice versa. How are we supposed to help each other when we’re hundreds of miles apart?”

“It might not be that bad!” Josh offered. “This is our first tour; we have no idea what anything is going to be like. Besides, there’s always FaceTime and texting.”

“I guess.”

“And it’s only three months. It’s not like we’re leaving for a year with no means of communication or anything.”

“You’re right.”

I poked around at my pasta. Josh trying to put a positive spin on the whole tour situation wasn’t really doing much besides making me feel worse.

“Are you going to tell her how you feel before we leave?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, “I hadn’t even thought about that.”

“It might be a good opportunity. I mean, that way if she rejects you, then you don’t have to face her for three months.”

“Oh man.”

Josh reached over and patted me on the shoulder, “Come on, rejection isn’t that bad!”

“No, it’s not that. Can we just focus on something else?” I asked. “I don’t want to think about leaving right now.”

“Sure. Um, you want to hear about that date I went on the other day?”

“Yeah.”

Josh spent the next twenty minutes detailing the awful date he had been on the week before, which was a nice distraction from thinking about Y/N. It even managed to put a smile on my face, which had been a rare occurrence today.

“I take it you won’t be going on a second date?” I asked as I fished the final noodle out of my bowl.

“No way. I don’t even want to randomly bump into her on the street again.”

“That won’t be a problem much longer,” I sighed.

Josh placed a hand on my shoulder, “Come on, man. Let’s play some video games or something to get your mind off of this.”

“Good idea.”

Josh worked on setting up Mario Kart while I carried the dishes into the kitchen. I didn’t bother washing them yet, I could just get them all done once I finished making dinner. When I returned to the living room, Josh was waiting for me with two controllers in his hands.

“Think we can play Mario Kart on a van?” he asked.

“If we’re dedicated enough,” I laughed.

“Agreed.”

Mario Kart. That’s all I needed to worry about for now.

* * *

2:45 am.

That’s what the clock on the bedside table said.

I still hadn’t fallen asleep.

I threw the covers off of me and walked out to the kitchen. The dirty dishes from lunch with Josh were still in the sink, half full of water. Those would have to be done tomorrow. Maybe. If I ever got sleep.

I grabbed a clean glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. The faucet seemed loud compared to my silent apartment. Water splashed onto my hand. I wiped it off on my sweatpants.

Dim moonlight was filtering in through the window on the far side of the room, so I slowly wandered over to stand in it. A few cars were driving by on the street outside, their bright headlights illuminating the paint on the road in front of them. I wondered what anyone else would be doing up at this hour.

The water was cold against the back of my throat as I chugged half of the glass. It hurt just enough to distract me from all of the thoughts that had kept me from falling asleep for the last few hours, even if just for a moment. Maybe Y/N’s suggestion of changing my sleep schedule wouldn’t be such a bad idea, after all.

Y/N.

There she was, making her way through my thoughts again. I couldn’t get the picture of her face after I told her I was leaving out of my head. She had looked so upset, but I knew there was nothing I could do. Nothing that I could tell her that would make the pain go away. I was leaving and that was that.

Sometimes I wondered if it was the right choice.


	19. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst, profanity
> 
> Word Count: 2000
> 
> Author’s Note: Just a heads up, this chapter goes back in time a little bit! I know the chapters have been pretty linear up to this point, but I wanted to show how both the reader and Tyler reacted to what happened, so I rewinded a little bit. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

Your throat hurt. Bad. Worse than it ever had before, you were pretty sure. Except for maybe that time you had strep and were out of school for a week.

That had been pretty bad, too.

The tears had finally stopped coming, but you knew it wouldn't be long before they were back again. Thankfully none of your family was home, so you could cry as loud as you needed to without anyone asking what was wrong. You preferred it that way, at least for now.

It was hard to believe that he was actually leaving.

Not wanting to sit with your thoughts any longer, you headed downstairs to get yourself something to drink. There was some juice in the kitchen leftover from when Carter had decided to surprise you with breakfast the other morning, so you poured out a cup and took a seat at the dining room table. It hurt a little to swallow, but it still tasted good.

You heard Carter before you saw him. He was whistling as he shut the front door behind him and kicked his shoes off next to the door. For a moment you thought he might not have seen you sitting at the kitchen table, but his eyes met yours when he was about halfway up the stairs.

“Didn’t expect you to be down here,” he said as he backtracked and joined you in the kitchen. “Is Tyler still here?”

“No. He decided to leave early.”

Your voice didn’t sound right, so you took a long sip of your juice. Maybe Carter would think it was because of that. Somehow.

“That’s a first,” he smiled as he sat down. “Wait - have you been crying?”

“No,” you lied, but his simple question caused you to break down again. You buried your face in your hands and tried to hold back the sobs.

“Woah, hey, Y/N,” Carter said.

His chair scraped against the wood floors as he stood up again. He was at your side in seconds, lightly rubbing your back.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

You nodded and let Carter guide you up the stairs towards his room. He helped you get comfortable and wrapped you up in blankets. It was silly, but he used to do it when you were kids and your parents weren’t home to properly comfort you. Something about the childish gesture always made you feel a little better, even now. Once you were settled in, Carter sat down in his desk chair.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“It’s Tyler,” you muttered. “He’s leaving.”

“Leaving? What do you mean?”

“His label is having him tour. He’s leaving next week and won’t be back for three months. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him, Car.”

A fresh wave of tears started to fall down your cheeks. Carter reached out and gently tried to brush them away with his thumb, but they were only replaced by new tears in a matter of moments.

“Alright, come here,” Carter said.

He took a seat next to you on the bed and held his arms out. You buried your face into his shoulder and held onto him tightly, no longer caring how hard you cried. Carter just rubbed a hand along your back and held you.

“It’s ok, Y/N,” he whispered.

“It’s not.”

You hated the way that your voice sounded. It didn’t even sound like it was coming from your mouth.

“He’s not going to be gone forever.”

“That’s what it feels like.”

Carter held you at arm’s length. You were too embarrassed to meet his eyes, so you stared at the belt he was wearing. It had belonged to your dad at some point. You could tell by how worn the leather was.

“Will you look at me?” You shook your head. “Please?”

You took a deep breath and tilted your head slightly so that you could look at Carter.

“What?”

“This isn’t going to be the end of the world. The relationship that you and Tyler have is special and neither one of you is going to let it end just because he’s not in Ohio for a few months. Just think, he’ll be getting back right as you get done with school for the summer.”

“I guess that isn’t too bad.”

“And you’re still going to have me, alright? Sure, I’m not Tyler, but at least you don’t have to deal with this alone.”

You nodded. Carter was making some good points.

“It just sucks, you know? To not have him here.”

“I know. Come here.”

Carter pulled you into another hug. You held onto him, just taking a moment to appreciate that he was looking out for you. It was hard to imagine where you would be without him and Tyler.

“Alright, I need to talk about something happy now,” you said, wiping away the last few remaining tears. “I want to hear all about this coffee date with Marenna.”

Carter immediately started grinning like an idiot, which was always a good sign.

“Ooh, what happened?” You poked him in the side a couple times.

“Well, we were just catching up,” he explained. “She was talking about grad school and I told her about working and stuff.”

“Did you pay for her coffee?”

“I did.”

“Was it a caramel latte with half the normal amount of espresso?”

Carter’s eyebrows furrowed, “Yes. How did you know?”

“She used to take me out to coffee before school when I was a sophomore! I remember her always ordering the exact same thing, but I tried it once and it was disgusting.”

“Oh yeah,” he smiled. “I remember that now.”

“Ok, sorry for the interruption! What happened next?”

“I decided to be bold and ask her if she was seeing anyone…”

“Carter!” you gasped. “You decided to be  _ bold _ ?”

“Yes, now shut up and let me finish.”

“Sorry!”

“She said no, she isn’t,” Carter paused. “And that slowly led into a conversation about where we left off. I told her that I missed her and she said that she missed me too.”

“Carter!” You got so excited that you reached out and smacked his arm, although it was a bit harder than you had intended it to be. “Oh, sorry.”

“Ouch, Y/N,” he laughed, rubbing at his arm. “Anyway, we just talked some more and then I walked her out to the car and…”

“And?” you said, hardly able to contain your excitement.

“I kissed her.”

“Carter!” you stood up on his bed and began to dance around. “Carter! Carter! Carter!”

“Y/N! Stop, you’re going to mess up my bed!”

“Sorry,” you fell back onto his bed, “This is just so exciting!”

“I know,” he grinned. “I’m really happy.”

“So are you two together now?”

“Not officially, but I’m taking her out on a proper date later this week. You know, just to test the waters before we dive back in.”

You sighed, “I want to get taken on a proper date.”

“Your time will come.” Carter reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder.

You shoved it away, “Yeah, yeah. Just like my time was supposed to come in high school, too.”

He rolled his eyes at you, “I bet there’s a guy out there who’s head over heels in love with you.”

“Not likely.”

“How would you know?”

“I just  _ know _ , Car.”

Besides, even if there was, he would never live up to Tyler.

* * *

“Fuck,” Carter muttered as he pulled burnt chicken nuggets out of the oven.

“Carter! Our nuggets!” you sighed.

“I don’t know how I managed to mess up this bad.”

“Now what are we going to have for dinner?”

“Burnt chicken nuggets,” he grinned, holding the pan up.

“No.”

He groaned and tossed the burnt nuggets into the trash can. Carter had offered to make you a nice dinner since you were still dealing with the news from Tyler, but his subpar cooking skills were putting a bit of a damper on things.

“Are you sure you don’t want any help?” you asked. “I could make us some noodles real quick.”

“No, I’ve got this. I’m capable of making dinner for my little sister.”

“You have yet to prove that to me.”

Carter turned and shot you a look before returning to rummaging through the cupboards for a second option. With each passing minute that he was unable to make you something good for dinner, you were growing hungrier and more impatient.

“What are you working on?” Carter asked.

You looked down at the paper that was sitting in front of you. It was covered in random words and sentences.

“A list.”

“Of what?”

“Ideas.”

Carter sighed, “For?”

“Tyler and I want to make our last day together really special, so I’m trying to come up with ideas for stuff we can do to make it as much like a movie as possible.”

“What do you have so far?”

“Just random stuff: eating an entire gallon of ice cream, going on a picnic, playing Mario Kart. Just like our regular days together, really.”

“Then how do you plan to make it like a movie?”

“Um, well, I hadn’t really gotten that far.”

That made Carter laugh, “Glad to see it’s going well, then.”

“That’s why I’m brainstorming ideas!”

You sighed and tapped your pencil against the counter. On the other side of the kitchen, Carter was cutting up some fruit for you. He had decided to make them into funny shapes, just to help you cheer up a little more.

“Hey, Car?” you asked.

“What?”

“What did you and Marenna do on your first date?”

He looked up at you with a raised eyebrow, “Are you actually brainstorming date ideas and using it being your last day together as a coverup?”

“I wish.”

“Then why are you asking what we did on our first date?”

“Because you’re good at coming up with ideas.”

Carter smiled, “I try. And, um, let me think.”

You doodled flowers around the edge of your paper while you waited for Carter to think of his answer. His first date with Marenna had been close to six years ago, but you still remembered how excited he was as he got ready. You, being the curious fourteen year old you were at the time, had been asking him rapidfire questions while he tied his shoes. He had been nice enough to answer all of them for you.

“I remember!” he said as he slid your plate of fruit over to you. Most of it was flower-shaped, although he had managed to make a few attempts at dinosaurs. It made you giggle. “Ready to hear it?”

“Yes,” you said as you grabbed a strawberry flower.

“So, I picked her up and took her to this food place that we both really like. It actually ended up becoming one of our favorite date spots.” He allowed himself a small smile. “And then I took her out to this overlook and we ate our food and got to know one another. I even managed to hold her hand.”

It was like Carter was sixteen again, smiling like an idiot about his first date with a girl. You were happy that they were back together again; he hadn’t been this happy since before the breakup. At least one of you got to be happy.

“Did you kiss her?”

“Maybe,” Carter answered, drawing out the end.

“Aw, Carter had his first kiss” you teased.

“And definitely not my last.”

“Too far!” you squealed.

You munched on a piece of banana while you wrote down a few more ideas. Tyler had managed to set aside an entire half of a day to spend with you amidst all his last-minute tour preparations. The thought of a “last day together” before he left for so long still made you sad, but you were determined to make the most of what you had.

After all, maybe some time away from Tyler wouldn’t be such a bad thing.


	20. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None
> 
> Word Count: 2085
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter!

I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel as I drove along the backroads of Columbus. Y/N was in the passenger seat, sitting with her head halfway out the open window. The afternoon sun was making the car warm, but not unbearable.

“Are you going to tell me why I’m wearing a swimsuit now?” I asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had been filling the car.

Y/N turned to me, “Is it not obvious?”

“No.”

“We’re going swimming.”

“Ok, yes, that was obvious. My question is  _ where _ ?”

“Have a little sense of adventure, Tyler,” she giggled. Her phone read out some directions that I couldn’t quite hear, but she repeated them soon after. “Turn right in two miles.”

Two miles? It didn’t look like anything but fields and distant forest out here.

“I think I went to a summer camp out here when I was younger,” I said as we passed a brightly colored sign advertising some chicken farm.

“I think I did, too.”

Y/N set her phone down in one of the cup holders and went back to leaning out the window. She looked so pretty and carefree as she watched trees fly past. It was hard to pull my gaze away from her and watch the road instead.

“I think this is the turn,” she said, pointing to a little side road.

“Are you sure?”

“That’s what my phone says.”

“If you say so.”

An increasing number of trees started to line the road as we drove. In the passenger seat, Y/N was smiling and starting to excitedly tap her hands on her knees.

“What has you so excited?”

Her jaw dropped as she turned to me, “Do you really not know where we are? Or, I guess, where we’re going?”

“No, because you still haven’t told me,” I laughed.

“The lake! I thought you would have figured it out by now.”

“The lake?”

“Yes, Ty,” she sighed. “You know, the one where all the basketball guys threw that party and you dragged me along because you didn’t want to be the only one without a friend there?”

I held back a smile. That was only the excuse I had come up with to get her to come with me. In reality, I just wanted to spend time with her and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get out of doing something with the team.

“Oh right. That lake.”

“Yes, that lake. And I figured what better way to kick off our last afternoon together than going for a swim?”

Our last afternoon together. I still didn’t like the sound of it.

“Um, can we just not talk about it being our last afternoon together right now?” My fingers were tapping against the wheel faster now. “I just want today to be about us.”

“About us,” Y/N repeated. “That sounds good.”

I nodded and turned back towards the window. If I remembered correctly, it wouldn’t be long before we reached our destination.

* * *

Dozens of other cars filled the tiny parking lot. I somehow managed to find a decent parking space between two trucks near the entrance. Y/N grabbed her bag from beneath her feet and was quick to hop out of the car. I followed suit.

“Can you grab the blanket, Ty?” she asked from the other side of the car.

“Yeah.”

Y/N grabbed the cooler from the backseat and tucked it up under her arm. Once I finished grabbing the blanket and locking the car, she led the way out to the grassy patches that surrounded the lake. There were more people than I was expecting for late March.

“What do you think?” Y/N asked me.

“Huh?”

“I asked what you think.” She waved her arm in front of her, “Of this spot.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah - it’s good.”

A pause.

“Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“The blanket?”

“Right.”

Y/N kicked off her shoes while I carefully laid out the blanket in the grass. As much as I was trying to enjoy my time with her, my mind wouldn’t stop wandering back to the fact that I would be leaving tomorrow. Everything was happening so quickly.

“Thanks,” she said as she sat down. I did the same. “Want a drink?”

“Sure.”

Y/N dug around in the cooler for a moment before pulling out a Red Bull and handing it to me. I popped open the top and took a long drink, letting out a content sigh as I swallowed it. Nearby, a few kids were splashing water up at one another and giggling.

“How was practice this morning?” Y/N asked.

“Fine,” I shrugged. “I mean, I’ve been playing these songs for so long that practice feels kind of useless now.”

“Did you figure out a set list?”

I turned to her, “I thought we weren’t talking about me leaving?”

She smiled against the edge of her drink, “I just asked if you have a set list.”

“We do. Josh came up with most of it.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s alright.”

I hated how conversation between us felt so forced, like we were both trying to skirt around the fact that I was leaving but not being able to think of anything else.

After another long sip of Red Bull, I stood up and stripped my shirt off. Y/N gave me a funny look as I pulled my shoes off and tossed them to the side of the blanket.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“We’re here to swim, right?” I smiled. “Might as well make the most of it.”

Y/N shook her head as I ran towards the edge of the water and dipped my feet in. It wasn’t the warmest water I had been in, but it wasn’t terrible, either. I walked in a little further so that it was lapping around my thighs.

“Coming?” I called back to Y/N.

“I’m going to finish a little more of my drink,” she answered, holding her can up for added effect.

Rather than continuing to yell, I simply gave her a thumbs up before turning back to the water. I slowly continued to move deeper until the water was up around my waist. The deeper I went, the colder I seemed to feel.

When I turned back towards the shore, Y/N was pulling off her own t-shirt. She tossed it onto the blanket along with the rest of her things, grabbed her phone, and then came walking towards me.

“It’s cold!” she called as she began to wade in the water.

“It gets better the further in you get,” I said, knowing perfectly well that it wasn’t true.

“It does?”

I nodded, meanwhile trying my hardest not to let my smile show. Y/N walked over to me, handed me her phone, and then turned her back to the water. After a deep breath, she let herself fall back until she was completely submerged. It splashed up onto my shoulders, making me jolt a little.

“Tyler!” she yelled as soon as she emerged from the water. She messily pushed the hair that was stuck to her forehead back so that she could see. “You liar! It’s cold!”

I was too busy laughing to give her a proper answer. In her frustration, she splashed some water up at me, giggling as she did so.

“Here, I’ll make it even,” I said, passing her phone back to her.

Y/N watched me with a raised eyebrow as I walked out towards where she was standing. I turned my back to the water as she had done and let myself fall into the water. The cool water came as a bit of a shock as it washed up over my head, soaking me completely. When I stood back up and shook my hair out of my face, Y/N was laughing.

“Even?” I grinned, holding my arms out.

“Even.”

I pushed my hair back and sunk a little lower in the water so that it was up around my shoulders. Y/N had moved to a little shallower spot and was doing something on her phone, most likely taking pictures. She liked to do things like that.

“Aren’t you afraid of dropping your phone in the water?” I asked.

She shook her head, “Carter let me borrow a waterproof case he had. It should be fine.”

“What are you doing?”

“Taking videos.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know. Stuff?”

I moved closer to Y/N to see what she was doing, but she held an arm out to stop me.

“What?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

She exhaled, “Ty, maybe one of these days you’ll learn that I’m sentimental and like to remember everything. Just stand there and look pretty, alright?”

“Why do you need to remember today?”

Y/N looked at me over the top of her phone, “I would tell you, but I’m not allowed to talk about it.”

I nodded and turned out towards the other side of the lake. For a while, I had forgotten about leaving. It had been just another carefree day spent with Y/N.

“Ty?”

I had been so caught up in my head that I hadn’t heard Y/N talking to me.

“What?”

“I’m going to go set my phone down. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks.”

“Ok.”

While Y/N waded back towards shore to set her phone down, I took another dip under the water. My body was slowly adjusting to the temperature, making it less shocking than the first time I dove under. In fact, it was actually starting to feel kind of refreshing under the mid-afternoon sun.

“It’s kind of nice out here, isn’t it?” Y/N asked as she returned.

I ran my hands through my hair again, “Yeah. I think the lake was a good choice.”

That same gorgeous smile was on her face again, “I’m glad you like it.”

I wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked. Little strands of hair were framing her forehead, pressed flat by water. Her eyes were absolutely shining in the sun, framed so nicely by her eyelashes. Everything about her just seemed perfect.

Of course, there was no way I was going to tell her that.

Instead, I did the only thing that seemed logical: tackled her straight into the water. She squealed as my arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her down into the water with me, completely submerging the two of us.

Y/N made it out of the water before I did, and by the time that I had stood up and could see again, she had already gotten the water out of her eyes and was staring at me. She was trying her best to look angry, but she couldn’t entirely wipe the smile from her face.

“What was that for?”

“I couldn’t resist,” I smiled, hoping it would make me look more innocent.

“Ty,” she sighed. “I swear.”

I simply shrugged, prompting her to kick water up at me. It hit my back as I turned away just in time to avoid getting a face full of water.

“You’re going to pay for that, Joseph.”

“I’m sure I will.”

Y/N and I spent the next hour or so splashing around in the water and generally acting like kids again. She made several attempts to tackle me in return, but none of them were successful. I, on the other hand, was able to successfully tackle her on multiple occasions, only adding fuel to her desire to get revenge.

We eventually got tired of our water shenanigans, so we grabbed our drinks and sat down at the edge of the water to relax for awhile. Our conversation was nice, but I could tell that both of us were having a hard time staying away from the topic of me leaving. Not that I could really blame us.

When the sun finally started to get lower in the sky, Y/N and I packed up our belongings and headed back towards the car. I tried to get her to tell me more about what she had planned, but she refused to fess up. All she would say is that we had to get back to Columbus before any more details would be revealed. Although I wasn’t sure exactly what was in store for our night, I was determined to make the most out of it. 

After all, in a situation like this, every minute counted.


	21. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Little bit of angst
> 
> Word Count: 1990
> 
> Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

You closed the lid of your now-empty thai food container and set it on the table next to the couch. Next to you, Tyler was only half-paying attention to the TV show the two of you had put on to watch while eating dinner, although he looked more spaced out than anything.

“Ready for the second half of the night?” you smiled.

Tyler turned to you and raised his eyebrows, “What are we doing now?”

You stood up, “Having a picnic.”

“A picnic?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t it dark outside?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “So?”

“Ok,” he shrugged.

You led Tyler out into the hall and grabbed one of the “outdoor” blankets from the closet. This required a bit of help from Tyler since it was on the top shelf, but with a bit of teamwork you managed to get it down. With the blanket now in your arms, you carefully made your way down the stairs towards the backyard.

“Are we having the picnic in the backyard?” Tyler asked as you passed through the kitchen.

“Yeah. Hopefully it isn’t too cold, because that kind of ruins the whole plan.”

Tyler opened the sliding door for you and you carefully made your way through the door. It wasn’t as cold as you had been expecting outside, which was a pleasant surprise. March weather in Ohio could be unpredictable, but thankfully today didn’t seem to be one of those days.

“Do you care where we sit?” you asked, turning to Tyler.

He shook his head, “You know your backyard best.”

You ended up choosing a spot right in the middle of the yard where you would have the best view of the stars. It wasn’t quite the same as being out on the hill without any light pollution, but having a picnic outside was still a better activity than just sitting around inside. That was too much like the normal days you and Tyler spent together, and today was meant to be special.

“I’ll be right back,” you announced once the blanket was laid out. Tyler had already made himself comfortable right in the middle of it.

“Ok.”

You half-jogged back towards the house and stepped through the sliding glass door. Carter was already in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink of something from the fridge. He turned to you as you opened the freezer.

“What are you up to?”

“Tyler and I are having a picnic in the backyard.”

“Didn’t you just have dinner?”

“Yes, but now we’re having dessert.”

You grabbed the two tubs of ice cream that Carter had picked up for you earlier that day. He passed you two spoons, making sure to get the ones that you and Tyler liked.

“Thanks, Car,” you said as you took them from his hands. “For the spoons  _ and _ the ice cream.”

“It was no problem. I just want to make sure that you and Tyler have fun together before he leaves.”

You bit down on your lip, “Don’t remind me.”

All day, you had been trying not to think about not seeing Tyler for three months. It had been working pretty well, for the most part, but now that the end of the night was drawing closer it was getting harder to ignore.

Carter reached out and put a hand on your shoulder, “Hey, remember what we talked about.”

You nodded, “I know. Anyway, I should get back out there. We have to make the most of every minute, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

You turned and started to walk back towards the sliding door, but stopped when you were about halfway and looked over your shoulder.

“You better not be a nuisance and try to mess up the night,” you warned.

“If it was any other day, I wouldn’t make any promises,” Carter smiled. “But I won’t bother you tonight, don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Carter.”

“Alright, now go have fun. But not too much!”

You smiled and jogged over to the door. It was a bit awkward to open with all the ice cream in your hands, but with a bit of twisting and use of your leg, you got it open. Tyler turned towards you when he heard the door open.

“Is that ice cream?” he smiled.

“Our favorites,” you answered, holding the two tubs up.

“That’s awesome.”

You tossed Tyler’s ice cream to him once you were close enough to the blanket that you were confident you could make the throw. He easily caught it in one hand and tore the plastic off in one go. You, on the other hand, took a little while to figure out how to open the tub.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had an ice cream picnic before,” Tyler said as he scooped up his first bite. “Let alone one under the stars.”

“I thought you might appreciate it.”

He turned to you and smiled, “I do.”

You sighed in relief once you finally managed to rip the plastic off the top of your ice cream. That made Tyler, who had already enjoyed quite a few bites of his own ice cream, giggle.

“Shut up,” you smiled. “That plastic was strong.”

“Sorry,” he said, but he was still laughing quietly.

You grabbed your phone from beside your leg and played some music, just so that it wouldn’t be quite so quiet between the two of you. It’s not that the silence was uncomfortable, it just gave you too much room to think.

The two of you made casual conversation as you ate your ice cream. It wasn’t until you started to shiver that you decided it would probably be a good idea to put the tub aside and save the rest for later. Tyler noticed you shivering and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, the ice cream just made me really cold,” you smiled. “I’m going to run inside and grab a sweatshirt.”

“Wait,” Tyler said, resting a hand on your arm as you began to stand up. “Just take mine.”

“Are you sure? It’s really not a big deal for me to just-”

“Y/N, please. Just take it.”

“Ok.”

You watched as Tyler took off his sweatshirt, leaving him in just his white t-shirt from earlier that day. He tossed it to you and you quickly pulled it on over your head, warming you up instantly. It smelled faintly of Tyler’s cologne and lake water.

“You can keep that one for now, if you want. You know, for when I’m gone,” he mumbled.

You raised an eyebrow, “I thought we weren’t talking about you leaving.”

“Well we can’t exactly avoid it all day, can we?”

You bit down on your lip, “I guess not.”

Tyler put the lid back onto his own tub of ice cream and set it in the grass. He adjusted himself a little before laying back on the blanket so that he could look up at the stars. You decided to do the same.

“It’s weird to think that I won’t be in Ohio for three months. I don’t think I’ve ever left for that long.”

You pulled the sleeves of Tyler’s sweatshirt down over your hands a little further, “I think it will be weird to not have you here. Like a little piece of Ohio is missing.”

“I think a piece of me will be missing, too. Until I get back, at least.”

“But think of all the things you’ll get to see,” you said. “States you’ve never been to and people that adore you and huge venues that you could be playing one day.”

Tyler was quiet for a moment. “That’s weird to think about.”

You turned to him and laughed, “Sorry, am I getting too existential for you?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just hard to believe that I’m going on a tour. With my songs. I mean, I wrote those songs in my basement and now I’m going to play them for someone other than you?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what’s happening.”

“I just wish that I could bring you with me, Y/N.”

“I wish I could come too, Ty. But I have school.”

“I know, I was just - wishful thinking, I guess.”

You began to chew on your bottom lip. Familiar thoughts were running their way through the back of your head, slowly trying to take over your entire mind. The last thing you wanted was for them to ruin the night.

“Do you think things will be the same when you get back?” you finally asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re signed to a label now and - you know - you’re going to be making music and probably touring more. Do you think we’ll still get to have days like today? Or are we just both going to be too busy for one another?”

Tyler finally turned to look at you, “Things aren’t going to change, Y/N. I won’t let them.”

“You really mean that?”

“I really mean that.”

Your mouth curled into a half-smile. It was nice to know that Tyler wasn’t going to give up on you just because he was beginning to get famous. You still meant just as much to him as he did to you.

“Do you think you’re going to get tired of Josh?” you asked, hoping to switch the conversation to a lighter subject.

“I don’t think so. We get along really well, but then again we’ve never been stuck in a van together for three months.”

“I hope I get to know him better once you guys get back. He seems really sweet.”

“He is,” Tyler answered. “You two would get along really well, I think.”

“I guess we’ll know in three months.”

“Three months,” he repeated. “That sounds like such a long time.”

“I think it will go by faster than we expect it to.”

“I hope so. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, Y/N.”

You laughed quietly, “I don’t know either.”

Tyler was shivering when you tilted your head to look at him. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, but obviously it wasn’t doing enough.

“Are you cold?” you asked, propping yourself up on one elbow. “I can give you your sweatshirt back and get one of my own.”

“No, it’s fine. I already said you could keep it.”

“Ty, come on.”

“I’m not going to take the sweatshirt back, Y/N.”

“Fine,” you sighed. “But I’m not going to let you freeze to death.”

In a moment of bravery, you scooted closer to Tyler and wrapped your arms around him. It took him a moment to register what was going on, but he eventually moved one of his arms so that it was wrapped around your back. As soon as you laid down on his chest, you froze.

What in the world were you thinking?

“Is this ok?” you asked quietly

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make this weird.”

“No, it’s - I like this.”

You could hear Tyler’s heart pounding in your ear. A million questions filled your mind, mostly ones wondering why in the world Tyler kept acting like this. He denied his feelings for you at every opportunity, yet told you that he liked you laying on his chest. You wanted to confront him, but last time you had done that it ended in an argument. There was no way you were about to let Tyler leave Ohio while you were mad at him.

Instead, you were just going to enjoy this moment.

“Hey, um, Y/N?” Tyler said.

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything, Ty.”

He took a deep breath and you could feel his heart still pounding in his chest. Your mind was already running wild with possibilities of what he was about to tell you.

“I’m going to miss you. A lot.”

Right. Maybe you should have seen that one coming.

“I’m going to miss you, too.”

_ More than you could ever know _ .


	22. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The tiniest bit of angst
> 
> Word Count: 1883
> 
> Author’s Note: Would you believe me if I said this was the last Tyler chapter of this book? This series has gone by wayyyyy faster than I expected it to! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Today was the day.

I rinsed the last bit of shampoo out of my hair before shutting off the water. It would be awhile before I got to shower in the comfort of my own apartment again. I would miss the consistent water pressure and ability to shower for as long as I pleased. Tour wouldn’t have the same luxuries.

Not wanting to waste any time, I dried myself off and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and the shirt I had worn to bed. I wanted to spend as much time relaxing this morning as I could before the afternoon was spent running around making last minute preparations. There were still a million things that I needed to pack, but that could wait until after breakfast.

The coffee pot hissed while I cooked up some eggs for myself. Over the last few days, I had been trying to use as much of the perishable food in my fridge as I could before I had to toss all of it. The last thing I wanted was to come back from tour to a fridge that reeked of spoiled food. That wouldn’t be fun.

I wondered what Y/N was up to as I cooked my eggs. Her classes would be starting again in just a few more days, and I knew she had been really enjoying her break from constant studying and going to class. I wished that I could stay for the rest of it, but our label had been insistent on leaving as soon as we possibly could. 

My thoughts were interrupted by someone calling me. With my free hand, I picked up my phone and and held it to my ear while continuing to stir up my eggs with the other.

“Hello?”

“Hey, man,” Josh said. “I just had a quick question for you and calling is easier than texting.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

It turned out that Josh’s “question” was more like twenty. He was asking about everything under the sun, from how many shirts he should bring to what equipment he had to be in charge of. By the time that he finally finished the interrogation, I had finished cooking my eggs and made it halfway through my first mug of coffee.

“Alright, thanks, Tyler.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said before shoveling more eggs into my mouth.

“I’ll see you in a couple hours?”

“Sounds good.”

Josh ended the phone call and I tossed my phone down onto the couch. It bounced along the cushions for a moment before landing face down next to my leg.

I thought about calling Y/N for a moment, just to distract me for awhile, but ultimately decided against it. She was probably busy - or asleep - and it was better not to bother her. There would be plenty of time to get on her nerves with phone calls while I was on the road.

Far away from Ohio.

The idea of it still put an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, even though the reality of the situation hadn’t really set in. There was still a good chance that it wouldn’t be as bad as I was expecting it to be, right?

Maybe it would even help me finally get over my feelings for Y/N. Or finally give me the confidence to tell her.

Now that was an interesting thought.

I had come so close to telling her again last night. Everything had just felt so natural with her wearing my sweatshirt and laying on my chest, like that’s where we were meant to be all along. She had probably been able to hear my heart pounding in my chest while I debated if I wanted to tell her or not. 

But no, instead I just told her that I would miss her. At least I knew that she was going to miss me too.

I shook my head in an attempt to get the thoughts to leave it. Today was supposed to be about leaving for tour, not ruminating on what could have been. With a sigh, I took another large bite of eggs and washed it down with a gulp of coffee.

My phone buzzed.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ I don’t know exactly when you leave, but have fun today! I’m going to miss you lots and can’t wait to see you when you get back :) _

The text made me smile.

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Still have a couple hours, but of course I left everything until the last minute :P going to be a packing tornado until everyone gets here _

I quickly finished my eggs as I waited for her response. Knowing my tendency to get distracted, I was going to need as much time as possible to pack up and clean my apartment.

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Don’t forget to take care of yourself! Anyway, I don’t want to distract you. Just let me know when you leave, please :) _

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Will do :) _

I quickly cleaned off my dishes and left them out to dry for now. There were two hours until everyone got here and an endless list of things to finish before we left.

The countdown started now.

* * *

It felt like I was being pulled in twenty different directions: trying to finish packing up the apartment, coordinating with all the crew members, and carrying everything downstairs. If I didn’t calm down soon, I knew I was going to forget something vital.

“Shoes? On feet. Music folder? Backpack. Ukulele? By the door,” I murmured, all the while trying to take a few deep breaths.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the packing list that Y/N had helped me make a few days ago. Most of the stuff was already packed up in the van, but I was doing one last sweep of my apartment before we left, just to make sure that nothing was left behind.

There was a knock on my door, pulling my attention away from the list. It was probably one of the crew members.

“Come on in!” I called.

The door swung open, revealing Josh standing on the other side. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

“I just got here,” he said. “How are things going?”

I glanced around the room, “They’re going.”

“Do you need help with anything?”

“No, I think I have everything handled.”

Josh walked over and hopped up on the counter next to my packing list. He pulled it a little closer to him and looked it over.

“Did Y/N help you make this?”

“What gave it away?” I laughed.

“I’ve read your handwriting enough times to know that this isn’t it.”

“I wouldn’t have had anything except for musical instruments if it wasn’t for her. Half of the stuff on that list was her idea.”

Josh nodded and slid the paper back to where it had been sitting. I wandered over to the couch and began to wrap up some loose cords that were hanging over the back of it.

“How are you feeling?” Josh asked.

“I’m doing alright. Still trying to wrap my head around this whole not-being-in-Ohio-for-three-months things that we have going on, but it will sink in soon enough.”

“Yeah, as soon as we’re out of Ohio,” he laughed.

“Exactly.”

“What about Y/N?”

“What about her?” I asked, turning to look at Josh.

“Are you going to miss her?”

“Of course I’m going to miss her. She’s my best friend.” Josh shot me a look. “Alright, the thought of leaving her almost made me bail on this whole tour thing but if I let myself think about it, it’s only going to hurt worse in the end.”

“That’s more like it.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” I said sarcastically.

“How is she handling it?”

“Fine, I guess. She was really positive yesterday, but I’m guessing that was just a front for how she was really feeling. My guess is that she’s doing about how I am.”

“Are you going to see her again before we leave?”

“No. Yesterday was our last day together.”

“Did you tell her how you feel?”

“No.”

“Ty, come on, man!”

“Listen, I wanted to tell her. It was just - I didn’t want to tell her and then leave for three months. That isn’t fair.”

Josh raised his eyebrows, “It sounds like you’re just making excuses.”

“It’s more complicated than that. Can we just drop this?”

“Fine. Sorry for bringing it up.”

“It’s fine,” I sighed. “Want to help me carry this stuff downstairs?”

“Sure.”

Josh and I made a couple trips between my apartment and the van out in the parking lot. My legs were protesting more and more with each time that I went up and down the stairs, meanwhile Josh seemed to be having no issues going back and forth.

“Is that everything?” he asked as we arrived upstairs for what felt like the millionth time.

“I think so.”

“Ok, I’m going to head downstairs and see what they need help with.”

“I’ll meet you down there. I just need a few more minutes.”

Josh gave me a pat on the shoulder before walking out the front door. I wandered over to the couch and sat down on it, kicking my feet up onto the coffee table. It felt so empty in here, now that most of my favorite possessions were gone. The corner looked too empty without my keyboard in it.

The plants that I had tasked Y/N with taking care of were still sitting by the window. She had told me that she was going to pick them up tomorrow on her way home from running errands with her brother. I wondered what she would think of the empty apartment. It hardly even felt like my apartment anymore.

“Hey, Tyler!” someone called from the other side of my door. It wasn’t Josh.

“Yeah?”

“We need to get out of here in ten minutes.”

“Ok, I’ll be down soon.”

There was no point in wallowing alone in my empty apartment, so I stood up and did one final walk around, just to make sure everything was how I liked it. Once I was happy with how it looked, I grabbed my keys from the counter and walked out into the hallway. I double checked that the door was locked - not that it really mattered since Y/N would be over tomorrow - took one final look at the door, and went down the stairs.

“There he is,” one of the crew members said as I joined the small crowd that had gathered in the parking lot. “Let’s do one final check of everything and get out of here.”

Josh walked over to where I was standing and resting a hand on my shoulder, “Still doing ok?”

“Yeah. Are you?”

He nodded. I forced a smile.

“It’s going to be ok, Tyler. All of it.”

“I know. Tour is just a whole new concept to me and I’m not quite sure how to handle it.”

“It’s only three months,” he reassured me. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

Josh raised his eyebrows as I turned to look at him. My stomach was twisting uncomfortably, although I wasn’t quite sure if it was excitement or nerves at this point.

“I just hope things haven’t changed by the time we get back.”


	23. Chapter Twenty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> Word Count: 2027
> 
> Author’s Note: All I have to say is that this series absolutely flew by. I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Officially out of Columbus _

You read the text, but decided not to answer, at least for now. The message was simple, but sent a pang of sadness through your chest nonetheless. He was officially on tour and each passing minute would only put more distance between the two of you.

You tried not to think about it too much.

“Carter!” you called as you walked out of your room.

“What?” he answered, matching your volume level.

From the sounds of it, he was in his room. That shouldn’t have come as a surprise, now that you thought about it. You backtracked and grabbed your phone from the bed before shuffling down the hall to his door, knocking on it twice.

“What do you want?”

“Carter, please!” you whined. It was dramatic, but it would get your point across.

“Fine, you can come in.”

With a smile, you pushed open the door and confidently walked into his room, stopping right at the foot of his bed. He rotated in his desk chair so that he could face you, just in time for you to flop face-first into his mattress and let out a dramatic groan.

“Alright, what happened?” he asked.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and handed it to him without another word. The power button clicked as he turned it on to read the message.

“Tyler’s gone,” he said plainly. It was a statement, not a question. You nodded into his comforter. “How are you feeling?”

You rolled onto your back so that Carter would be able to hear you clearly. His hearing was bad enough as it was, so there was no way he would be able to tell what you were saying if it was muffled by the bed.

“I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?”

“Yeah. It’s like if all the emotions were on the edge of a circle, I’m right in the middle of it.”

Carter’s eyebrows furrowed, but he seemed to mostly understand what you were saying.

“Well, maybe I’m leaning a little more towards sad,” you added.

“Because he’s gone?”

“Yes. It’s like - I’m not really sure how to explain it, Car, but these last few weeks with him were different.  _ He _ was different. For awhile there I thought he might even feel the same way about me, but now he’s gone so I guess I won’t ever really know.”

“Y/N, you’re acting like he’s gone forever. You two are probably still going to talk every day and before you know it, he’ll be back again.”

“Yeah, you have a point.”

“I know I do,” Carter smiled. “I’m really good at that.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Carter reached over and gave you a light punch in the shoulder, “What do you say we make some lunch and play video games to keep you distracted? I wouldn’t want you leaning too far towards sad.”

You sat up and turned to face Carter, “What are we going to make?”

“Whatever you want.”

“How do peanut butter and jelly sandwiches sound?”

“I think they sound delicious.”

You practically jumped off the bed and went running down the stairs, temporarily forgetting about the fact that Tyler was gone. At least for now, you could just pretend that Tyler was only away for a weekend and he would be back before you knew it. The reality of it all would set in - especially when school became particularly stressful - but for now you would ignore it all as long as possible.

“You want anything else besides sandwiches?” Carter asked once he finally caught up to you in the kitchen.

“Can you grab some juice from the fridge?” you asked.

“Sure thing.”

While Carter grabbed your drinks from the fridge, you collected all the things you would need for the actual sandwiches and laid them out along the counter. 

“Hey, Carter?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.”

“Car,” you laughed. “You know what I mean.”

He grinned, “I know. Go for it.”

“Do you think that - um, maybe - Tyler felt the same about me?”

“What do  _ you _ think?”

You shrugged, “I could never really tell. Like, last night, he said that he liked me laying on his chest and, I don’t know, it felt  _ right _ . But maybe that was just me.”

“I think Tyler is a complicated guy. There’s probably a lot more going on in his head than he lets on.”

You shot Carter a look, “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Honestly, Y/N,” he sighed. “I think that’s a question that can only be answered by him.”

“I can’t just ask him, Car. Especially now that he’s gone.”

“Then I guess you just have to wait three months.”

Your jaw clenched, even though that was the answer you should have been expecting. Carter had a point.

“Sorry, that’s probably not the answer that you want to hear.”

You shook your head, but tears were already welling up in your eyes. Apparently your wall against everything that was happening was crumbling faster than you had expected it to.

“It’s ok,” you said, but your voice cracked on the last syllable.

“Oh, hey, no, Y/N. I’m so sorry. Come here.”

Carter walked over and pulled you into his chest. You wrapped your arms around him tightly and squeezed your eyes shut, hoping that it would keep you from breaking down entirely.

“I’m sorry, Carter,” you murmured. “I was trying to stay positive about this.”

“No, no, it’s ok. It’s hard to have someone that you care about leave. You can be as upset as you want.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “I just don’t know what I’m going to do without him. We’ve never been apart for this long before and - I don’t know - what if things aren’t the same when he comes back? What if he likes Josh better? Or what if he gets distant again? Carter, I’m so scared. I don’t like growing up.”

Carter gently rubbed your back. “You’re going to be ok, Y/N. I know things are hard right now, but everything is going to fall into place. I’m sure Tyler won’t be any different when you get back, especially if you’re talking every day. Feelings or not, it’s easy to tell that you mean so much to each other. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people care about each other as much as you two do. That’s not going to change in a matter of months.”

You turned a little so that you could at him, “Do you really think that?”

“I don’t think a lot of things, but that’s one of the few that I do,” he laughed.

“Shut up,” you laughed.

Carter held you at arm’s length, “I know I’ve told you this before, but I’m going to keep telling it to you until you get it through your head. I’m always going to have your back, no matter what happens, ok? Even if I don’t understand you in quite the way that Tyler does, I’m always going to take care of you. You’re my little sister and you mean the world to me.”

You pulled him into another hug, “Thank you so much, Carter. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After a couple deep breaths, you finally stopped hugging Carter. He smiled and gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder before returning to pouring out two cups of juice. You wiped away a few tears with the back of your hand and looked at all your sandwich ingredients.

“Car?” you asked.

“Yeah?”

“Can you make the sandwiches? I kind of want to just sit for awhile.”

“Sure thing. Here you go.”

Carter handed you your drink and you took a seat on one of the stools. The juice tasted good, despite the fact that your nose had started to run a little bit from crying. You were glad that Carter had let you cry, it had released a little of the tension in your chest.

“How many sandwiches do you want? Just the one?”

“Yeah, one is fine.”

You watched Carter as he carefully spread out equal parts peanut butter and jelly on the bread. He had always been very specific when it came to sandwich ratios, although you had never entirely understood why. All you knew was that Carter was the best at making sandwiches out of all the people in your family.

“One peanut butter jelly and sandwich for Ms. Y/L/N,” he said, sliding a paper towel topped with your lunch over to you.

“Thanks,” you smiled, picking it up and taking a bite.

Carter made himself two more sandwiches while you finished off your own. Once your lunch was made and all the materials were back in their places, the two of you headed upstairs to the den. Your heart still felt heavy, but Carter was doing a good job at keeping you from spiraling too much.

“When are you seeing Marenna next?” you asked.

“Tonight,” Carter answered. “I’m taking her on another date.”

You groaned and leaned your head back against the couch cushions, “When are you two going to be official again? I want to see her.”

Carter’s mouth curled up into a smile, “Soon, Y/N. I’m trying to think of the best way to ask her.”

“What if you took her on your first date again? You know, get food and go on a picnic, but instead of a kiss at the end, you get a girlfriend!”

Carter nodded, “That’s not such a bad idea.”

“I know. I’m full of great ideas.”

“What did you and Tyler end up doing for your not-date yesterday, anyway?”

“We went out to the lake and hung out for awhile, then got our favorite thai food since he won’t have it for three months, then came back here and ate ice cream out in the backyard.”

“Is that how you managed to snag his sweatshirt, then?” Carter asked, gesturing to you.

You looked down at your torso, as if to confirm that you were, in fact, wearing Tyler’s sweatshirt that he had given you. It just seemed like a fitting thing to wear on the day that he was leaving, especially since it would lose his distinct cologne smell before long.

“I was shivering!” you said, growing a bit defensive. “I offered to go get one of my own sweatshirts, but he insisted on giving me his. Then he just said to keep it while he was gone.”

“That was very sweet of him.”

“That’s because Tyler’s sweet. Well, most of the time, at least.”

“Hey, can I ask  _ you _ a question now?” Carter said.

“Sure.”

“If you think that Tyler shares your feelings, why don’t you just ask him?”

“I have.” You picked at some loose strings on your jeans. “That’s what caused our big argument the other week. I almost asked him again last night, but it just seemed like bad timing with him leaving and I really didn’t want to cause a huge argument between the two of us before he left.”

Carter nodded, “That makes sense.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “I’m just hoping this time apart will actually let us clear our heads. If something is destined to work out, it will work out.”

“That’s a good philosophy to have.”

“Yeah, I just have a hard time sticking to it,” you laughed. “I’m impatient.”

Carter started to stand up, patting your shoulder as he did so, “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

You swatted at Carter’s arm before he got too far away for you to do so. Once he disappeared around the corner, you leaned back on the couch so that you could stare up at the ceiling. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t quite seem to keep Tyler out of your head. Not that it was anything new.

Three months felt like a long time, but, just like everyone said, it would be over before you knew it. Tyler would be back, and things between you would be - well - you weren’t entirely sure yet. You would just have to wait and see about that part.

**END OF BOOK ONE.**


End file.
